Finally, her body softens and she leans her head against my shoulder. I manage to take a drink of the coffee.
“All of the instincts and drives are still new to me,” she says after a minute. “I didn’t expect them to be quite so potent for some reason.”
“You’ve never been with an Omega?”
“Not since I designated. My girlfriend in high school was an Omega, designated when we were fifteen. We broke up before our senior year.”
There’s a long pause. I take another sip of my own drink and focus on the ocean, letting her decide what else she may want to say.
“Marcus is the only one I’ve been with since I designated, and obviously that’s much different since he’s an Alpha and bonded to you.”
Fourteen
COLE
My hand tightens on the disposable cup. New nerves squeeze my stomach and tighten my throat. Charlotte freezes beside me.
“Sorry, did I say something?” she asks, twisting to see me.
“He told you?”
Her teeth bite into her plush lower lip as she nods. “Yeah, he told me when we went exclusive.”
The awkward fear I might fuck all this up by mentioning it falls away, and I can breathe without feeling like I might throw up the coffee. I force my grip to loosen on the cup.
“That saves an awkward conversation,” I offer with a half-smile. She relaxes back into my side with a small laugh.
“I guess it does,” she says. She takes a long drink before sighing. “But yeah. Marcus has been my only partner since designating.”
I can’t help but frown.
“Marcus said you’ve been together for two years?” It had struck me how the timing lines up with when the doctorsconvinced me to suppress the bond after hoping futilely for a year I’d be able to find him.
“Yeah, our anniversary is in October,” she says.
“Did you not have any partners during college? You went to Juilliard, right?”
I’ve read the Council’s packet through more than once, trying to absorb everything I can about Pack Harper. She’s been dancing for the New York City Ballet for the last three years after graduating from Juilliard’s dance program.
She sighs but snuggles deeper into me, her knees draping across my thigh.
“I had one serious relationship while in school. He was a Beta.” She takes another long drink. “What you’re trying to decide to ask is when I would have designated if the only person I’ve been with since is Marcus.”
“Guilty,” I admit.
My cheeks flush, and her lips curve in a half-smile that lights her eyes without dulling the worry in them.
“I only designated seven months ago, right before Christmas,” she explains breathlessly. “The first gala we went to I wore a blue pin rather than red. I think I still have it in a drawer somewhere at home.”
Holy crap.
I think back over those first few months I’d designated, the overwhelming urges and that first heat. I’d had to be sedated through it. The haze and the need had been… Well, nothing really compares to it. It had taken nearly that entire first year to really become comfortable in my skin and adjust to all the changes. Scarlett and Violet had been similar, surviving that time of transition but not really thriving. Well, Violet did all right through it until her heat and Sienna faked a breakup letter from her boyfriend.
“To be honest,” Charlotte continues, pulling me from the thought, “all of this still freaks me out a bit. Sometimes this aggression will just… be there all of a sudden. I wanted to punch that woman in there for simply smiling at you. The girl I was before designating? She didn’t have a single violent bone in her body.” She sits up, putting that space between us again. “I’m pretty terrified I’m going to mess this up and screw over you and Marcus reconnecting.”
Tenderness fills me. I’m so scared they’re only trying to make this work because of the bond, and she’s worried she’ll be the wedge that separates us all? That has one of us filling out the reassignment paperwork to have me sent to another pack somewhere else? I set my half-full cup on the ground and then gently guide Charlotte’s face up to mine with a finger under her chin.
“Don’t worry about me and Marcus,” I tell her. God knows he’s done a good enough job avoiding me since they flew in last night with no help from anyone else. “Instincts are instincts. They’re made to dovetail with an Omega’s.”
