‘Nice little set-up they have there,’ I told Ryan, as I drove him back.
‘I know. That’s all stuff from their house. They always had good taste, those two.’
‘It’s nice to see some oldies looking happy,’ I said. I thought about the horror of having seen mine and wondered where they were now and if it was as nice as Craven Court.
‘Dad’s parents were a whole different story,’ Ryan said. ‘They didn’t want to move, didn’t want to pay for care, didn’t want to pay for home help… it went on and on until social services had to go in and drag them out of their own shit. The new place is pretty ’orrible though. But they were well skinny by the time anyone intervened, so I s’pose they’re better off. Dad was upset about it. But those two, they’ve always been lovely. They get on really well and they have bingo on Mondays and cards on Wednesdays, and a disco at Christmas. Gran still dances. Imagine that! And they take ’em to the beach in summer… Yeah, they’re happy as Larry, really. But what they don’t like is running out of beer. Gramps says that’s his secret. His daily can of Guinness. He’s convinced he’ll die if he stops.’
‘You look like her,’ I said. ‘But I guess you know that.’
‘Gran?’ Ryan laughed. ‘Oh, I know. Everyone always says that. But you should see my mum. We’re like two peas in a pod. It used to embarrass me when I was a kid, ’cos everyone always said it. But nowadays I kind of like it. I s’pose we all become our parents eventually.’
‘Maybe,’ I said. I thought, but didn’t say,I hope not. I swallowed with difficulty.
‘I worry about that, though,’ Ryan said. ‘Don’t you?’
‘Becoming like your parents?’
‘No, not me, the wife. The mother-in-law’s a bloody nightmare. So I’m hoping she won’t be like her. Nag nag nag. That’d be my old age ruined good and proper.’
‘Right,’ I said.
‘Bit of a cliché,’ Ryan said. ‘They kind of have to be awful, don’t they?’
‘Mothers-in-law?’ I asked, as I pulled up outside Ryan’s house. ‘Mine’s actually pretty nice, so I don’t think it’s obligatory.’
‘Yeah? Dawn’s mum?’
‘Yes, she’s funny and lively and actually still pretty fit.’
‘Well then,’ Ryan said. ‘You’ll be fine.’
As I drove home that evening, a little later than usual, I was thinking about everything I had back home. If I was ever to enjoy a peaceful old age then it would inevitably be with Dawn.
I walked in the door feeling both guilty and determined to make it up to her. But Dawn was in an angry fluster, in the process of cooking up a storm. The table was laid for six.
‘Hey,’ I said, leaning in the kitchen doorway. ‘What’s up? Why are the posh plates out? We celebrating something?’
Dawn, busy stirring some kind of sauce, froze and glared up at me. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten!’ she said. ‘I mean, I know you’re late. I canseeyou’re late. But you haven’ttotallyforgotten, have you?’
‘Oh shit,’ I replied, pretending I’d remembered even though the truth was I still had no idea what she was talking about. I glanced around the room, hoping for clues.
‘It’s Mum’s birthday, you bloody idiot! Well, tomorrow it is, but we’re doing it tonight.’
‘Oh yeah, I thought that was tomorrow though!’ I lied.
‘I… Jesus, Rob! Itoldyou she can’t do it tomorrow. I told you she’s got a medical thing.’
I had no recollection of that conversation.
‘And where’s Lou?’ Dawn continued. ‘You were meant to pick him up from the station. D’you forget your own son as well?’ At that precise instant my phone rang – a call from Lou, asking where I was.
‘Sorry, dude, running late!’ I told him. ‘I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.
‘Unbelievable!’ Dawn said. ‘Absolutely un-bloody-lievable!’ And I could see how for her it might be. She had no idea how much stuff was going on in my head. ‘Go!’ she said. ‘Go now! And buy some bloody champagne on the way!’
As I drove to the station I thought about how Cheryl had been taking up every spare smidgen of space inside my brain. News about my own family had been rolling off me like dew, simply because I just didn’t have the spare mental capacity to take it in.
At home, around Dawn, I felt numb. And she seemed angry with me all the time.
