‘Wow,’ I said, doubtfully.
Rob made proper coffee and toasted crumpets, and as he did so he burbled on excitedly, telling me random things about his life. He was an electrician, he explained. He had his own business, rewiring people’s houses. His parents had moved back to Wales, but he’d decided to stay on in Margate. He hadn’t got on with them anyway… His business had been working out well, so why move? He had a van now and everything. So life was great really. Well, except for the romantic side of things. But that had never been his strong point…
‘I’m sorry about last night,’ he said, suddenly, unexpectedly. ‘I know it’s not meant to be… I know it’s not a race or anything. It’s just, you’re so beautiful, I couldn’t stop myself.’
I laughed at this sourly and pulled a face.
‘You are,’ Rob said. ‘But you know that, right? Of course you do.’
I fidgeted on my bar stool and looked down at my swinging feet. Though I knew I was no monster, I wasn’t used to compliments. ‘So was that…?’ I asked, then, ‘Look, I’m not sure if I dreamed this… And I don’t want to offend you or anything… But did you actually say that was your first time?’
Rob bit his lip and nodded. ‘Sorry,’ he said.
‘God, don’t apologise,’ I said. ‘We can’t all be precocious slags, like me.’
‘You’re not a slag,’ Rob said. ‘You’re beautiful. I think you’re amazing.’
‘Yeah, thanks,’ I said, thinking,Well of course you do. You’ve never shagged anyone else.‘How old are you, Rob?’
‘Twenty-five,’ he said. ‘I know it’s late. It’s just… I don’t know.’ He handed me a cup of coffee.
‘Wow!’ I said. ‘Twenty-five? How come you never…?’ I reached for my coffee, then paused. ‘Sugar?’ I asked.
‘Oh, God!’ Rob said, looking suddenly panicky. ‘Shit! I tried to think of everything. But I didn’t… Shit! Sugar! Of course.’
He was standing, lifting his keys from a key-peg behind the kettle.
‘Rob,’ I said. ‘Wait, it doesn’t matter.’
But he’d already crossed to the front door. ‘Five minutes,’ he said. ‘Not even.’
‘Rob!’ I shook my head in disbelief.
Men, the men I’d come across – my mother’s men, boys from school, Wayne’s friends, even Billy – they did not behave like this. They didn’t make breakfast, and they didn’t go roaring out the door because they’d forgotten the sugar, either. I was shocked, but in a good way. I wondered briefly if there was a whole world of helpful eager-to-please men out there I’d never, for some reason, met. Or maybe it was just Rob.
The crumpets popped up but they were still squidgy, so I pushed the lever down to give them a second toasting and wandered round the flat looking at things. I’d never seen a man who lived so tidily, either.
By the time the crumpets popped up again, Rob was back. ‘It’s only on the corner,’ he said, looking ridiculously young again, looking like a child desperate to please. ‘It’s really handy, actually.’
‘You didn’t have to,’ I said. ‘But thanks.’
He dropped the keys over the hook again and handed me the bag of sugar. ‘There you go, Dawney,’ he said.
‘Um, you can stop calling me that right now,’ I told him. ‘I hate it.’
‘Dawney?’ he asked, grinning so broadly he looked like the face on his Happy Shopper bag. ‘Your mum told me to say it. She told me to keep saying it until you lose the plot.’
‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Of course she did. Well, believe me, you do not want to see me lose the plot.’
Rob nodded and handed me a teaspoon. ‘She likes a joke, your mum.’
‘She does,’ I agreed.
‘She tried to teach me to pour beer once,’ he said. ‘Did she ever tell you about that?’
I shook my head.
‘Yeah, she showed me how to do it on one tap – like to demonstrate – and then got me to do it on the other one, but it was impossible. I just couldn’t do it. D’you know why?’
