We sit in silence.The only sounds are our forks scraping against plates, the occasional clink of glass against wood.She’s not eating much—just pushing food around, taking small bites here and there.But she watches me.Every time I glance up, her eyes are on my plate, making sure I’m eating.I finish what I can.It’s more than I usually eat for breakfast, but less than half of what she piled on.I set my fork down gently and reach for my orange juice, draining the last of it.
“I have to go to work,” I say finally, my voice strained.
I’m halfway out of my seat when I hear her say, “I’m sorry.”The words shock me to the core, and I sit back down to stabilize myself.I’ve never heard my mother apologize before.Not with words.
I remain there, frozen for a few seconds, before I sit back down heavily.“Ma?—”
“I’m sorry about Luis,” she continues, her voice thick with emotion.“When Marco told me Luis lied to me about seeing you get in the car and that you walked home, I told Luis that perhaps you and him would not work out, but he seemed insistent.I shouldn’t have believed him.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” I agree, tightly.“You should have believed me when I said I wasn’t happy with him.You shouldn’t have hidden my things.You made him believe my family was just throwing me at him like I was a burden, like he had the right to treat me whatever way he wanted.When he slapped me, Mamá, I knew he was comfortable doing that because he knew you would have sided with him.”
“I would never have?—”
“But he believed it!”I raise my voice, my throat tightening with anger and emotion.“You made him believe it when you basically told him it doesn’t matter if my daughter wants you or not.If you want her, you can have her, kicking and screaming.”
My mother’s face pales.“Eve.”
“You made him believe it was okay, Mamá,” I say harshly.“You.No one else.And I don’t know how to forgive you for that.”
She lowers her gaze.“I’m sorry, Eve.I was trying to secure your future.”
“Marriage isn’t in my future, Mamá.Especially not marrying Luis.I told you, over and over again, but you just shut me up.You would use your tears, your words, anything and everything to get me to say yes.I never loved him.Not once.In the four years I dated him, I was so miserable.He was cruel to me.He knew my family didn’t have my back.No one did.He knew that I was on my own, and he took advantage of that!”
My mother is silent.I wish she would fight back, say something so I could get some satisfaction, but she’s just quiet, as if she knows.
“I was wrong.”The three words have me closing my eyes.
“Why, Mamá?Why now?Why are you here now?”
She takes my hand in hers, her eyes wet with unshed tears.“I didn’t want to lose you.I’ve always had the hardest time trying to understand you, Eve.You are I, we are so alike, so stubborn.We have always fought.I wanted your future secure, and you just… You just wanted more, and I couldn’t understand why.Why you want to go to work when you could have a husband to look after you?I just wanted you to be settled.But when I saw you in that police station, and you looked scared of us, of me… You spent hours there thinking you couldn’t call us because we wouldn’t protect you.That’s when I realized I had made you think we couldn’t be relied on, that I had pushed you away.”
I purse my lips.“You?—”
“I tried calling you, and your young man answered the phone two nights ago.”
I still.“My what?”
“Caleb.”My mother smiles now, albeit a little hesitantly.“He’s a good boy.A smart one.He cares for you.”
“Caleb talked to you on the phone?”I choke out.“What did he say?”
My mother shakes her head.“Some hard truths.Some things I needed to hear.He said I was going to lose you if I didn’t act like a proper mother, and he said what you just did.That it was because of me that Luis went so far.He also—” She cuts herself off for a moment.“—He said I should be proud of what you have achieved, and that one day you would just disappear from our lives completely because we never appreciated you.”
I stare at her in stunned silence.“Caleb said all that?Why?”The last part is torn from me.
“Your young man was angry on your behalf.”She looks happy.“I knew you made the right choice in that moment.He didn’t care that he was standing against your family.He was right.You have achieved everything all on your own, and I should have been proud of you.I’ve known that for a long time.I have been proud of your achievements, but I never said so.I kept trying to force you into what I thought was right for you.Because of me, you suffered.I’m sorry.”
I never once imagined my mother would reach out and make amends.This doesn’t feel like the mother I know.“So,” I begin slowly, “you’re here because of Caleb?”
“No,” she shakes her head.“I’m here because he told me what I already knew.I was losing you, and I love you, Eve.I don’t want to lose our relationship.I will try to change.”
My eyes burn with emotion.“Mamá.”
“Marco said you will need time, and I?—”
“I do need time, Mamá.”I lean my head against her shoulder.“But I’m really glad you came.”
She squeezes my hands.“So am I.Bring your young man around for dinner someday.When you’re ready.I like him.He protects you.He protected you when we didn’t.”
