Everything was different now that I’d stepped back into my former role as Lucifer’s daughter and heir. I was the Princess of Hell and the leader of the rebellion. There was no going back. I’d been born for this battle, and I would not chicken out simply because I was a little afraid—okay, petrified—of tapping into darker magics.
“I’m fine,” I told her.
She tilted her head. “No, you’re not. It’s okay to let your guard down around me, you know. I’m not gonna tattle to anyone, I swear.”
Okay, that earned a wan smile from me.
Eliza pushed off her hands and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her crossed knees. “Lily, no one expects you to be perfect. You are facing something most people can’t even fathom. You’re allowed to have emotions.”
I forced myself to swallow, then shook my head. “No. I can’t let fear sway me. I just can’t.” My voice might have broken a little on that last sentence.
“Fear isn’t weakness,” she said. “And honestly? I’d rather follow scared-you more than cocky-you any day of the week.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. I sat back, my gaze locked on my hands. “I—I’m frightened that if I explore this magic, it’ll change me. Turn me into my father.”
“And if it does?” she asked without hesitation.
I tore my attention away from my hands and met her eyes. The words were stuck in my throat, but I had to get them out, even if they came out as a rasp. “Rathiel would never kill me. Not in a million years.”
“No, he wouldn’t,” she murmured, her eyes narrowing as though trying to figure out where I was going with this.
“Levi wouldn’t either,” I said. “He has me on a pedestal, I think. He’s never said the words, but I think he believes I can get him home.”
“Wait? Home?” Eliza repeated. “What do you mean?”
I nodded. “If I win the war and restore Hell, Heaven will open the gates again.”
She paused, not looking at me. Just stared past my shoulder as she idly picked at a piece of dirt on her pants. When she finally spoke again, her voice was carefully neutral.Tooneutral. “Right. Makes sense. Guess he would want to go home, given the chance.”
Frowning, I glanced behind me to find her presumably watching Levi, standing a short distance from Rathiel as the two spoke. When I turned back to Eliza, the look on her face told me everything I needed to know.
She cleared her throat. “You were saying?”
“Right. Me losing doesn’t fit with Levi’s plans. And Rathiel…” Well, he’d rather die than ever hurt me.
When I fell silent, Eliza reached out, took my hand, and gave it a squeeze. Vol peeked out from behind her hair, and if I didn’t know the imp, I might have thought he looked almost sorrowful.
“What are you trying to say?” she asked.
I took a deep breath and forced the words to the surface. Theyhadto be said—Ineededto know we had a contingency plan in place, in case, for lack of a better phrase, all hell broke loose.
“If I resurrect my army and it awakens a darkness in me… If it looks like I’m turning into him, I need you to kill me. Please, Eliza.”
Her expression twisted. She slowly shook her head. But before I could say another word, she said, “Lily, I’m just a siren. Yes, I can fight with a sword, but I’m hardly as skilled as you. Nor do I possess the pure power you do. And if you awaken some unknown powers, then what chance do I stand?”
“I know,” I told her. That was the biggest part of what terrified me. “But Calyx will help you if you ask.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
“He’s not my friend, or the one I love, or even an angel anymore. More than anyone, he will understand what it means if I turn into my father. He won’t take much convincing, trust me. He’s been trying to kill me my whole life.”
“Yes,trying, Lily. But he’s never succeeded. Do you honestly think the two of us could manage such a thing?”
I gripped her hand and squeezed so tightly, she winced. “You have to, okay? I’m entrusting this to you. I know it won’t be easy. Rathiel won’t let you anywhere near me if the worst happens. So, you’ll need to be clever about it.”
She fell silent, then drew a deep breath and glanced away from me. After a few moments, she turned back and nodded. “Alright. I don’t know how we’d manage it, but if the worst happens, I will take care of it.”
It beingme.
