So, had I imagined it then? Or was the darkness playing a trick on me? And why didthatunsettle me more than the actual act of me throwing up?
“You’re pale,” Rathiel said as he brushed his thumbs over my cheek closest to him. “And clammy.”
Yup—I was drenched in sweat. My least favourite thing. Not to mention, my throat burned, my chest felt tight, and I could still tasteit—whateveritwas.
“Talk to me,” Rathiel pressed.
I swallowed and forced myself to meet his eyes. “I’m okay,” I assured him. “I’ve just never had a dream like that before. It scared me.”
He swept my damp hair back from my face, then leaned in to kiss my forehead.
“Is she okay?” came another voice.
I glanced over my shoulder to find Eliza, Calyx, Gorr, and Mephisar gathered behind us. Vol and Purrgy sat at Eliza’s heels, their eyes trained on me as well. Everyone who had heard me screaming, most likely.
“I’m fine,” I grumbled. “Just a nightmare. Go back to bed. Sorry to have woken you.”
No one budged an inch—because of course they didn’t. I wasn’t the only one with a saviour complex, apparently.
“Seriously,” I said. “I’m okay.”
“I’ll take care of her,” Rathiel said. “Go get some sleep.”
Eliza’s mouth slipped to the side, but she nodded and headed toward her charred bedroll, Vol at her heels. Gorr and Mephisar drifted off as well, though both kept a close eye on me. Purrgy, however, ventured closer and brushed against my legs, as though knowing I needed comfort. I reached out and stroked his back, but for some reason, my gaze shot across the camp to Levi.
He sat across from the fire, the last low flickers of flame casting an eerie, restless glow over his face. His eyes weren’t on the ground, or the dying fire. They were locked on me, silently watching. For a heartbeat, I couldn’t look away. He looked almost ethereal in the flickering firelight.
Rathiel’s voice pulled me back. “You sure you’re okay?”
I nodded, maybe a little too quickly. “Yeah.” The word scraped out of my throat like it had to fight its way past barbed wire.
“What was the dream about?” he asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Not tonight. Not while it still had a hold on me. Perhaps not evenever. “Let’s just go back to bed.”
Rathiel led me to our bedroll. I reached for my half-burnt bag and rummaged through it until I found the one thing I currently needed—my toothbrush. Thankfully, it’d survived the dragon’s attack. As had the toothpaste. The thought of that sludge taste lingering in my mouth any longer made my stomach roil. Again.
After a quick brush and a few sips of water, my stomach had settled enough that I felt I could lie down. Rathiel offered his hand again, and I took it, letting him guide me down next to him. I curled up against his side and rested my head on his chest. His arm slid around me automatically, fingers tracing idle lines along my arm in an attempt to soothe me.
I closed my eyes and listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. The sound usually comforted me, but not tonight. Not when that damn nightmare kept playing over and over in my mind. I tried to match my breathing to his, to focus on the warmth of his chest beneath my cheek, but even that wasn’t enough to quiet the fear twisting through me. The darkness had made another move tonight, spreading further within me. I could feel it crawling around, burrowing into my bones, my muscles, my veins.
I just hoped I could keep it under control.
Chapter Fourteen
RATHIEL
Lily slept.I did not.
Instead, I sat by the fire—what remained of it anyway—and poked at the dying coals. Every now and then, I stirred them with a stick. It wasn’t so much about keeping the fire alive, but more about giving myself something to do, something to occupy my time. Anything to keep myself from obsessively tracking Lily’s breathing.
I couldn’t stop thinking about last night. The way she’d screamed, how she’d woken up choking, like she couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t the first time I’d pulled her out of a nightmare—nor would it be the last—but there was something different about this one. It’d felt more…real, if that was possible. She’d never shoved me away like that before. And when she’d bolted to the rocks, I hadn’t been sure what to expect, but I certainly hadn’t expected her to double over like that, shaking and gasping. I didn’t know much about sickness—celestials, fallen angels, demons, even hellspawn, never fell ill—but I knew enough to know she hadn’t been well.
I tore my gaze away from the fire and stared at her. She lay curled on her side, one hand tucked under her cheek, the other pressed against her chest. Her dark lashes rested on skin that was still far too pale. While her colour had improved a little since the nightmare, it was not enough to ease my worries.
What really concerned me was her stillness. Usually, Lily moved in her sleep—a finger twitch, a foot flex, an arm jerk. But she hadn’t moved in hours. It’d concerned me enough that once or twice—perhaps more—I’d leaned over to ensure she was still breathing.
Movement drew my attention, and I glanced up to find that the camp had begun to rouse. Hellspawn stirred from wherever they’d passed out hours before. They clamoured to their feet, stretched, let out yawns loud enough to startle the dead, even stomped their feet to wake themselves. All typical hellspawn behaviour I’d seen before. The difference was that this time, their annoyingly loud routine didn’t bother Lily. Usually, she woke at the slightest sound, but today, she didn’t so much as flinch.
