I had a task to complete. So many souls were relying on me, and not merely the dead ones surrounding me on this field right now.
Rolling out my shoulders, I concentrated on my magic.
Warmth unfurled in my chest and spread down my arms. A second later, fire crackled and heat spread over my left palm while coldness spread over my right one. I opened my eyes only to be greeted by the usual sight.
Fire and shadow. My oldest tricks. Light and dark.
Because that was who I was.
My shoulders sagged with disappointment, and I released the breath I’d been holding. That was it? Nothing but the same old shadow and flames? After all that worry? After everything Levi had said? He—and the others—believed in me. They believed I was a leader, a queen, a powerful celestial.
A sigh slipped free before I could stop it.
Behind me, the crunch of footsteps gave way to Levi’s quiet voice. “You’re more than this, Lily.”
I didn’t turn around. The last thing I needed to see was everyone’s disappointed faces. “This is all there is.”
“No, it isn’t,” he said. “I believe there’s more to you. Imagine your magic is like an endless well. It stretches on forever. And the waters inside have lain untouched your entire life. You’ve never seen how deep you can go. You’ve merely skimmed the surface.”
I frowned and stared at my hands—one blazing, the other obscured with blackness.
“You must go deeper,” he encouraged.
“There is no deeper,” I told him.
“I don’t believe that. And I don’t think you do either. I think you’re simply scared to see what you can do. You are anangel, Lily. You aren’t a fallen, you aren’t a demon, you aren’t ahellspawn. You can do so much more than fire and shadow. But you need to believe you can.”
Easier said than done.
I closed my fists, snuffing out the fire and shadow, smoke curling between my fingers.
Deeper. Okay. Time to see what was hiding beneath the surface. Or rather,ifthere was anything else hiding beneath the surface.
I shook out my limbs, stretched out my neck, and closed my eyes, refocusing. Then I reached inward. I immediately found my magic, exactly where it always was. It lay there, awaiting my command. But that wasn’t the magic I needed. I needed to push past that boundary. Past the fire, past the dark, past the easy stuff I’d always relied on.
“Don’t stop,” Levi coaxed.
It wasn’t easy, but I forced myself to keep going and began digging. It wasn’t a well like Levi suggested, but rather a gigantic and wild forest. Its roots curled through every inch of me, embedding themselves in my heart, my lungs, my essence. The two joined at the center of my verybeingand merged into a blinding light I wanted to shy away from.
But before I could pull back, another voice joined Levi’s. I recognized it instantly. I couldn’t understand Rathiel’s words, but his tone soothed me, kept me calm when a part of me wanted to run screaming.
My entire being was enormous—frighteningly so. It went on forever, with hundreds and hundreds of roots all spanning in every direction. They made up every one of my cells and infused me with more power than I’d ever imagined.
I drifted deeper, cautiously at first. I didn’t want to unintentionally disturb anything.
I slowed my breath, and my pulse steadied. The familiar heat of my surface magic faded, replaced by something so massiveit overwhelmed me. I had no idea where Iwas, where my subconscious had drifted to, but it felt like this forest had been waiting for me for a long time.
My whole life, most likely.
It wasn’t frightening, exactly. Just…vast. Vast like the sky. The galaxy. The universe. Every inch I ventured, the ground stirred around me, as if the roots themselves responded to my presence. They stretched toward me, coiling over themselves, but didn’t touch me.
I didn’t know what to do.
I’d always thought magic was about ability. I could summon fire and shadow. The logic seemed simple enough. But this…was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. My magic had a lifeforce of its own. It yearned for me as much as I did it.
“Do you feel all the power inside you?” Levi asked, his voice distant but there. His words grounded me just enough to keep from floating away in this strange inner wilderness.
I nodded slowly, almost as though I was lost in a trance.
