She looked beautiful, but her beauty didn’t do anything for me anymore. It didn’t stop me in my tracks, make me forget what I was working on, or drive me to walk over and pull her to me. Someone else affected me that way.
“You’re sulking,” she announced. “Was the party not good enough for you?”
I pushed my computer aside and stood up. “You know me,” I said, glad to find an excuse to blame for my sour mood. “I’m never happy with good enough.”
“Who was that woman?” Jill asked. “The one who had you looking all upset when you were handing out pizza?”
“No one,” I said, far too quickly.
Judging by Jill’s expression, I was giving her hope, and I should hate myself for it. Instead, I channeled my frustrations towards Lexi. I was angry with her for making me feel, when that part of me had been buried so deep that I’d forgotten it existed.
I wanted her to stop looking at me with those unflinching eyes, as though she knew something about me that others didn’t, and as though I was disappointing her.
I hated that look the most.
I also hated that, ever since our fight, Lexi had stopped wearing the clothes I’d sent her weeks ago. She was back to wearing clothes from her old wardrobe, and combined with her tear-stained expression, she’d been coming into work looking even more disheveled than before.
I’d seen her from afar, from the second floor’s overlook where I waited many mornings as she walked in, desperate to catch a glimpse of her.
While I’d hated her tear-stained expression, another part of me—the one with clenched fists and seething with frustration—refused to go down and set things right.
I walked over to retrieve glasses for Jill and I to have a drink.
Lexi was just another woman. There had been many before her, and many would come after.
A bitter taste rose in my mouth at that thought. A drink would wash that taste away. Before I could reach for the glasses, Jill walked over and stopped me.
“Instead of drinks, how about we go clubbing?” she asked, looking hopeful. “It’s been perfectly dull around here lately. GregMarchand is back in town. Remember him? His family used to throw those awful but somehow legendary Fourth of July parties at Lake George. He and a few others from our old crowd said they’d join. I think it would help cheer you up,” she said, placing a hand on my arm.
I checked my phone for text messages. There were some, but none from the woman I wanted to hear from. Why was I even thinking about her? Perhaps a night of clubbing and meeting someone new was exactly what I needed.
“Clubbing sounds great.”
An hour later, our group was mingling at a club. To my surprise, Rafael from Lexi’s team had joined us. Apparently he was friendly with one of my high school friends. I nodded at him briefly, and he shot me a smug smile just before Jill tried to pull me onto the dance floor. I wasn’t in the mood to dance or talk, so I watched from the bar as people danced together. It was noisy, crowded, and a totally unsatisfactory way to spend an evening for a man of my age.
“Scowl any harder, and you’ll drive away some of the club’s patrons,” Greg joked, walking up to me. He took a sip of his drink. “Come on, man. Lighten up. Why don’t you go out there and dance? Maybe that’ll put you in a better mood.”
I set my half-empty drink aside on the counter. “Not interested in dancing,” I said curtly.
“Well, if you aren’t up for dancing …” Greg paused as a stunning, curvy brunette walked past us. He swallowed and turned to me. “God, she’s a ten.”
His eyes sought me, looking for acknowledgment, but I gave him my most disinterested look.
“Alright, alright,” he said with a grin, glancing around. “See anyone else you like?”
I shook my head.
“Well, you and Jill could always get back together,” he said, tilting his head in her direction.
She turned to us from the dance floor while the music pounded, and flashed me a smile, beckoning me over with her fingers. I held her gaze and took a long sip of my drink before shaking my head.
“You know everyone’s rooting for the two of you to get back together,” he said. I noticed that Rafael was listening in as I grimaced. We had been everyone’s favorite couple years ago, but the problem was that we were too similar. It was boring.
Jill didn’t challenge me, didn’t surprise me, or do anything unexpected. She fit so perfectly into my life, and maybe that was what the world wanted to see, but I wanted someone totally different. A very specifically different woman.
“She’s not my type anymore,” I said.
“Really? That’s a pity,” Greg said finally. “Especially since she’s working at Altika again … she was hoping you two could pick up where you left off.”
