“That’s not fair!”
“Isn’t it?” He cut me off, his voice sharp. “You’re heading towards something I can’t give you. Commitment, marriage, and a future. You deserve someone your own age, someone who wants the same things you do. It isn’t me.”
“I never asked you for any of that,” I whispered, my voice breaking.
“Not yet. But you will.” He looked at me with something like frustration. “This age gap... it’s too much. You’ll realize that eventually. I’m just saving us both the trouble.”
He stormed out, and I fell back on my bed, angry and furious with myself. Jonah had always been so closed off. Why was I asking for more? Why couldn’t I just trust him?
Was trust really that important to me?
Apparently, it did matter. I hadn’t been able to trust my mother and Evie’s dad. Surely, I needed to be able to trust the man I was seeing while we were together.
Together, I thought, hitting the pillow with my fist. What a fucked-up word for the situation we were in.
38
LEXI
“We never usually have such busy projects all year long,” Brian said, the following Thursday evening at four as he walked with me to the biggest conference room on the first floor. “But this year, Mr. Walkers is determined to go all out and make Altika number one on the App Store. Which explains why we’ve all been working like crazy lately.”
He paused outside the conference room. “And it also explains this,” he said.
The expansive room in the building was decorated with the company’s colors. A stage was set at the front with a podium, draped in a velvet cloth with the company’s logo emblazoned on the front.
Behind, on the wall, a large banner readAltika Inc.’s Excellence Awards.
“Fancy,” I muttered as I noticed that each table had a small flower bouquet placed at the center.
Brian snorted. “I wish they’d spend the money on giving us bonuses instead of this,” he said as he took a seat.
It had been a week since Jonah and I’d broken up. I hadn’t heard a word from him. Not a single text or a call. I’d picked up my phone a hundred times, wanting to reach out to him, but each time I forced myself to remember what he’d said. While he was enjoying his time with me, I’d started wanting something more. A relationship. Wanting him to be able to tell others that he was seeing someone, even if he couldn’t tell them who that person was.
He wouldn’t do that. And I wasn’t going to settle for less.
So I put my phone back each time, and hadn’t reached out to him either.
Missing him sucked.
In a moment, Stacey spotted us and waved to us from afar before walking over.
“How do you feel about pizza for an early dinner?” Stacey asked, pointing to the food that was being placed on tables by the wall.
“It’s better than no dinner,” I said.
My eyes felt a little watery, and I didn’t think I’d have the energy to make myself dinner when I got home, so I was going to grab a few slices of pizza now.
Stacey had been much warmer to me recently, and while she still hadn’t explained her sudden absences, she was spending a lot more time with me now, insisting I join her for coffee or short walks while we talked about our projects.
Today, while we waited in line for the pizza, she gave in. Brian was still back at the table, when Stacey leaned in closer to me and spoke.
“I was spending a lot of time with Rafael lately,” she said, “and it turned out he wasn’t completely honest.” She hesitated. “He’s married, apparently.”
“Oh,” I said. “Oh,” I repeated as the bigger implication of what she was saying hit me. “Were you two …?”
She nodded, dropping her gaze. “I feel so foolish. He didn’t have a wedding ring at work, and I assumed … well, it was my fault too. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him.
“When I found out he had a wife, I broke up with him immediately. He threatened to tell HR about us if I didn’t get back together with him, but I told him to go right ahead. I wasn’t going to be threatened.”
