I believed him. I glanced at my hand in his, wondering how long we’d walked like this, hand in hand. It felt intimate, cozy, and unlike the heated exchanges and passion I’d come to associate with Jonah. This was different.
“You’ve met Evie. We’ve had dinner together. I guess this is where I bid you goodbye.”
We stopped outside my apartment, with Evie skipping up the steps ahead of us. I could see the longing in his eyes and felt it reflected in me. I wanted to spend the evening and the night with him. Even if it were the two of us curled up on the couch, watching TV, I wished I could have that.
Look at me, aspiring for things a normal couple would want. I almost laughed at myself.
We walked up the stairs to the door, where Evie was waiting, and I unlocked it. Evie ran in, squealing when she found Sasha inside.
When I turned back, Jonah was smiling at me. I liked the way he smiled when he was with me. It was not like the charmingsmile that was meant to get something out of you. It felt more honest, true to Jonah.
We kept our eyes on each other.
“By the way, I found the note,” he said, in a low voice. “The one you wrote on the napkin.”
I angled my face to his, trying to recall what I might have written. “Don’t tell me. I embarrassed myself again?”
He shook his head, looking a little rueful. “No, it only made me realize how special you are, and what a fool I am for letting Cora scare me away from you.”
His expression shifted, and I caught a flicker of vulnerability.
“I’ve spoken to my Dad about Cora’s unexpected appearance at work,” Jonah said immediately, seeing my expression. “He’ll keep her in check, for now. But,” Jonah reached for his phone from his pocket and pulled up something on it. Turning it to me, he showed me a picture. “That’s my Mom,” he said simply.
I took a closer look at the woman in the picture. She seemed to be in her late thirties, had hair that matched Jonah’s dark blonde hair, and a careful smile that hinted at a deeper pain.
“Helen Gallagher,” Jonah continued. “She was a member of the staff at Dad’s home. She got pregnant with me, lost her job, and eventually lost me too because she couldn’t support me financially.” His voice was quiet as he put the phone back in his pocket. “I don’t want any of that for you, Lexi. That’s why it’s so important Cora doesn’t find out anything more about us.”
“There is nous, remember?” I asked.
“Do you want there to be one?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” I said.
“To me, it does. Do you?” he insisted.
I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply while I considered the question I already knew the answer to. A deep resounding yes. “I do.”
When I opened my eyes, he was smiling.
“Good,” he said, stepping closer. “Because I’ve tried my damnedest to stay away from you and Evie. And this is the first time in my life I’ve failed at something so miserably.” He held my gaze. “I’ve now decided that if I’m going to fail at something, I’d rather fail spectacularly, don’t you think?”
I pulled him closer to me and gripped his hand in mine, interlocking our fingers. He turned, and I gave him a deep kiss, which I hoped said all I needed to convey.
“Because I want you too. Very, very badly,” I whispered.
29
LEXI
As we entered, I heard Sasha call out from the kitchen, letting me know she and Evie were there.
Footsteps followed as Sasha walked into the living room, when she spotted us and froze.
“Sasha, hi,” I said, my voice sounding high-pitched as I realized how strange this scene was. “I’m back.”
“I can see that,” she said with a surprised look in Jonah’s direction.
He must have looked odd. He was definitely older than us, and even though Sasha had seen Jonah’s pictures and warned me off him before, it looked like she’d forgotten him.
