I turned away, feeling nauseated, my chest tightening when he strode over to me.
“The truth, Lexi,” he said roughly. “I need you to tell me how you are.”
I nodded, pressing my lips together to stop from sobbing. I didn’t want to break down in front of him. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to console me. We didn’t have that kind of relationship.
“I feel horrible,” I choked out, feeling shallow breaths leaving my lungs. I couldn’t seem to breathe properly. “Like I’m going to die. What if something bad had happened to me in the night? Who’d be Evie’s primary caretaker in my absence? I don’t trust Dylan to be a good father. Nor my mom. Who can I trust?”
It was a question I’d never considered before.
I sobbed and wept, my body shaking as the events of the past few days rolled over my mind once again. Being ignored by Jonah last evening, not having another adult to rely on and failing Evie as a parent.
Jonah half turned, his lips pressing against my hair. “Well, for starters, it’s time I showed you that you can trust me, Lexi,” I heard him say while my body shook with my sobs.
All fears of Jonah seeing me at my worst faded away, his body so solid and strong, so nonjudgmental and so calm that I didn’t hold my tears back any longer. He was getting to witness it all. Why, oh why, did he stay?
I lay my head against the crook of his shoulder, my eyes hurting from the hot tears pouring out and my fingers holding on to his shirt. I cried while Jonah held me through it all.
“I’ve got you, Lexi. You can trust me to take care of Evie, no matter what happens.”
The next morning,I woke up to hear a pitter-patter of feet in the kitchen. Unlike other mornings, Evie hadn’t rushed in to wake me up. It was eight a.m., and I heard her voice talking to Jonah.
Jonah.
My eyes snapped wide open, and my feet hit the floor instantly.
Was he still here?
Pulling my dressing gown over me and flattening my hair, I walked into the kitchen, feeling very conscious of how I must look.
I found Jonah and Evie wearing aprons and making breakfast.
“French toast!” Evie squealed before she saw me and turned and launched herself on me.
“Oof,” I grunted, barely remembering just in time to put my arm out to the wall to steady myself and stay upright.
I wasn’t prepared for a forty-eight-pound child to hug me breathlessly.
Jonah gently pulled her off me before giving her a bowl, in which he’d cracked three eggs open, and asking her to help him find a whisk.
That kept her engaged as she opened various drawers and cabinets while Jonah turned to me.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice still deep and low. His eyes stayed fixed on me, taking me in. He placed a hand on my forehead, which was thankfully cool, for now. I knew he’d be checking my temperature again in another five or six hours.
“Good,” I said as he handed me a cup of freshly brewed coffee.
I stared at it for a beat, my heart thudding as I looked back at him. He was here, still taking care of us. This was … impossible.
My heart softened, and all my fears about re-creating Stacey and Rafael’s ill-fated story retreated to the recesses of my mind.
“Oh, Jonah,” I whispered as I understood much, much more.
I used to lust for him, but lately, I felt like I was burning with the wrong kind of emotion. Things were very different between us now, and the emotions swirling in me scared me. It wasn’t that I simply didn’t lust for him anymore; it was that if he kept going on like this, I was in danger of falling in love with him.
“I’m glad you came over,” I murmured. “You were in control, responsible, and everything I should be, but I’m not.”
He touched me gently, stroking my cheek. “I don’t agree with the last part of that sentence, but I’m not going to get you into an argument today.”
My heart beat steadily as he wrapped one arm around my waist, dipping his head briefly to give me a quick peck on my lips. With a quick glance at Evie, who had her back to us, he buried his face in my neck, breathing me in. When he lifted his head, the look on his face said he wanted to do anything but step back.
