“I don’t know that yet, but we will. Other people manage fine. That’s what I wanted my phone for. I was going to look up advice on polyamorous relationships.”
“You-you think we could do that?”
I had no idea how it would work but, for the first time, it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe itcouldwork.
We were holding each other tightly, each wrapped up in each other’s arms and our own thoughts, when the door opened beside us. We were engulfed in chilly air and I instinctively went to step back, but mis-stepped.
With Sonny’s arms around me, I hadn’t needed my crutch for balance and I’d raised both my arms. It meant my crutch wasn’t ready when I stumbled and I had nothing there to support me.
I felt myself falling backwards, toppling over.
And then, out of nowhere, Erik was beside me. His strong arms were around me, and he hauled me upright and held me there until I had my leg and my crutch under me.
“Wow,” breathed Sonny. “You have fast reflexes.”
“Yes, I do. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Erik looked like he might leave again, or go and retreat to the bathroom again, but Sonny slammed the door and began tugging at Erik’s coat.
“You’re freezing, get this off and get that fire on.”
I took Erik’s coat and went to the cupboard to hang it up, dodged the cardboard box and closed the door on it quickly. Sonny had wrapped the colourful crocheted blanket around Erik and was rubbing his arms.
Erik stared into Sonny’s eyes for a moment and, in that moment, I saw something flicker across his face. Something sweet and tender, like longing.
He cleared his throat. “Is this your way of getting me to put the fire on so you can toast marshmallows?”
Sonny gasped, “There are marshmallows? Get that fire on!”
They smiled together, Erik kneeling down in front of the fireplace and starting to get the fire kindled, and Sonny adjusting the blanket around Erik’s shoulders.
My heart squeezed in my chest. They looked so good together. This was either going to end very badly, with all three of us hurt and licking our wounds, or – I crossed my fingers that by some miracle it would be this option – it was going to work out, just like Sonny had said.
Chapter 22
Erik
Sonny disappeared into the kitchen with the last of the dishes, having insisted that he do the washing up. The kitchen was so small that I’d had a choice of washing machine or dishwasher, and, well, I could live without a dishwasher.
I followed him in and asked, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, of course! It’s the least I can do after you made us dinner. Go and sit down and relax.”
He flapped his hands at me, shooing me back into the other room where Declan was sitting on the couch. Declan’s shoulders were tense, as was his jaw, and I recognised the way he was holding his body tightly, as though he could hold everything together with willpower alone if he just tried hard enough.
Before Sonny had left him there, he’d given Declan a meaningful look which I’d pretended not to notice, but it didn’t take a genius to work out what he wanted Declan to do.
I’d heard Sonny twice now, telling Declan that he should admit he loves me.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I wanted it to be true so badly, but Declan hadn’t said that and I was afraid of getting my hopes up. Inside me, my octopus longed to reach out and wind ourself around him completely.
Letting Sonny chase me out of the kitchen, I went to sit beside Declan on the couch and couldn’t help but remember the last time we’d been alone on that couch. The kiss we’d had.
I took a breath, hoping to calm my heart rate.
Behind us, Sonny clattered round the kitchen, washing the dishes and stacking them to dry, obviously trying to make as much noise as he could so that he couldn’t overhear what we were saying in here.
It made me wonder whether he really wanted Declan to do this.
