I hesitated.
Shit, why did I do that?
All I had to do was say no and then Sonny would kiss me and be mine. I could be with him all the way, as fully as I’d always wanted.
But I’d hesitated too long.
Sonny pulled back and I was forced to let go of his hoodie.
“I’ll go and help Erik change those sheets.” He pulled away and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
Chapter 19
Erik
Those two men! I was tempted to walk up to them and knock their heads together.
I’d been hiding in the bedroom with the excuse of changing the bedding for fresh linen, and I’d heard every word. Even without shifter hearing, I’d probably have picked up most of it.
The shifter hearing helped, though, although I wasn’t sure I was glad of it at that moment.
Declan and Sonny had both admitted that they loved each other.
My heart had squeezed inside my chest, as though invisible tentacles had wrapped around it to choke the life out of it. And yet they hadn’t done anything about it.
Sonny had come into the bedroom and helped me finish making the bed and that had been it.
If Declan had told me that he loved me, I’d have been on him in a moment, taking his mouth again because feeling Declan’s lips under mine and his tongue in my mouth had been absoluteperfection and I really, really wanted to come all over him. I’d been desperate to mark him up for weeks, my animal wanting to mark our territory.
Except, even as I thought it, I knew I was lying to myself.
I’d had my chance to get off with Declan, and I’d stopped us before we’d finished.
And I’d heard what Sonny said. Declan loved me.
He hadn’t denied it.
So maybe it had been true. Declan wanted me. I longed to hold him close, to wind myself around him possessively, but I wasn’t doing that. I was standing in the kitchen cooking while the washing machine whirred and shook beside me, drowning out the soft Christmas music that was on in the other room.
It was the only sound, because Declan and Sonny were sitting in silence.
My octopus rippled uneasily inside me, unhappy, but I couldn’t work out what it wanted me to do. I could go into the other room, throw Declan across my shoulder and carry him into the bedroom and ravish him. That wasn’t a bad idea.
I didn’t do it, though. Why?
Sonny’s image floated into my mind. Declan loved him. He was beautiful. And, in the grip of his fever, he’d begged me to hold him tighter withallmy arms.
God, this was so confusing. Maybe I needed someone to knock my head with theirs, too.
I stewed on it while I cooked and, when I carried the dinner into the other room, Sonny shuffled over and dragged Declan into the middle of the couch so there was room for me to squeeze onto the end beside Declan.
We were pressed against each other, elbows knocking and finding it difficult to eat, but we were all too hungry to care. As soon as Sonny finished his dinner, he started talking. He keptup a relentless monologue for an hour, sounding so cheerful and bright that I nearly believed it.
Declan looked devastated, though, looking at Sonny with such longing and hurt in his eyes that I couldn’t mistake it. The chatter wasn’t as cheerful as he wanted me to think. It was a distraction.
Eventually, I couldn’t take the look in Declan’s eyes any longer and I suggested a film. Grabbing the crocheted blanket back off the bed, I spread it over our legs and we settled in to watch Die Hard. After the usual argument about whether it counted as a Christmas film, of course.
Was that a Christmas tree in the background? Then it was a Christmas film.
