“Yes, because kids just love advice given to them by their evil step parents.”
“Don’t confuse your friends with your enemies.”
FOUR
Toxic
For the fifth time today,I reread the obsessed fan’s message.
“Just admit that the droid is willing to roll over anyone on his quest for fame.”
As crazy as it sounds, she’s joked her way straight into my heart.
She has to be really into me if she keeps adding to this dead-end conversation, because no one cares about Star Wars this much.
Scratch that. There are a lot of obsessed fans, and it’s actually pretty terrifying watching one go into a nerd rage, but the conversations around droids are typically pretty civil.
I’ve asked around the bus if she’s reached out to anyone else, because some fans do, hoping that one returns their message. So far, I’m the only one she’s texting.
I bring up her picture again, marveling at how generic it is, like she’s not even a real person. I know that sounds crazy, but it looks like a photograph you’d see in an employment ad for a company.
She’s cute, but…I don’t know.
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve hooked up with someone. The show’s been expanding and there’s hardly been a moment to breathe. Maybe that’s why I’m so obsessed with my beautiful raven-haired hookup.
Her ruby-red lips haunt me like nothing else in this world. There isn’t a night I drift off to sleep without wondering how they’d feel wrapped around my cock.
I search for her in every crowd, knowing I won’t find her. If only she’d left me her contact information, I wouldn’t be so obsessed. But how was I to know she’d so quickly consume my thoughts?
All I know about her is how she looks, fucks—spectacularly—and that she has some serious cash, because her clothes and jewelry were more luxurious than most would wear to a Hunks show.
Maybe this droid hater can help me get over the dark-haired beauty.
I look at her picture again, frowning because I can’t shake the feeling it’s a fake. But if it truly were, wouldn’t she have picked a better picture? She could be one of those AI entities, but why would someone go through the trouble of using that kind of technology to go after someone like me?
She’s either a fraud or the perfect woman to get me out of my fake plumbing emergency funk.
I read over the text a dozen more times before I finally come up with a response.
Toxic:You’re just jealous of all the attention I give him.
It doesn’t take long for her to take the bait.
Trista Kinney:As if, you simple-minded Jar-Jar! Your attention means less to me than the toothpaste I wash down my drain each night.
I have to laugh at her creativeness and her obvious knowledge of Star Wars. She’s definitely not an AI entity, and the more I speak with her, the more enamored I feel.
If I had to guess, I’d say she’s hiding something, but it’s probably something dumb like she’s fifty or heavily filtered.
Toxic:Oh, yeah? Try saying that to my face.
Take the bait…take the bait…take the bait…
I wait several minutes for a reply, cursing when one doesn’t come.
Chasing pussy is a mistake. Especially since so many fine-ass ladies attend our shows.
But every time I think of this woman, I can’t help but smile. And with all the stress I’ve been carrying around lately, I need more of that.
