Mother:Oh, and I received a document from the hospital and I don’t know if I should sign it. Maria is away with the kids for the weekend, and I don’t want to bother her.
Toxic:send it over
A minute later, I receive an email with an attachment. I open it, noticing that even though it’s addressed to my mother, Samantha was courtesy copied.
Confused, I message my sister immediately, vacation be damned.
Toxic:Why the hell is Samantha being copied on mom’s medical correspondence?
Maria:How the hell do you think mom’s medical bills were resolved? You realize she went to law school, right?
No-fucking-way…
Toxic:Why didn’t anyone tell me this?
Maria:She swore me to secrecy, and now I’m going to have to tell her you know, and hope she’s not pissed.
It’s like the wind has been knocked from me. How could I have been so fucking careless? So fucking stupid?
Toxic:don’t tell her
Full of fury and self-loathing, I pocket my phone as I try like hell not to lose my shit.
“Do you mind spotting me for a set?” Armando asks.
Just the distraction I need.
“No prob.”
As we take turns on the bench, my mind gets lost in torturous thoughts. Ones I’ll never escape.
Samantha is complicated. She’s easy to love, but she’s impossible to understand. If only I had asked the right questions, things might have turned out better.
Just as my father walked out on me, Samantha lost her mother. No wonder she’s so messed up inside.
We’re like two sides to a fucked up coin, belonging to one another. Understanding each other in ways no one else could, because in order to comprehend our torment, you need to know what parental rejection feels like.
“Armando?”
He finishes his set and sits up, panting. “Yeah?”
“I don’t know how to fix this.”
He nods. “But you want to, right?”
“More than anything.”
“Then you have to fucking work for it.”
“But Samantha doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“It’s not unreasonable for you to request to speak with her. She is pregnant with your child.”
“She wants me to go through my sister, but it’s all business. Maria refuses to tell me anything personal.”
“What about the baby?”
“Maria said a lawyer would contact me with details regarding visitation.”
