Her eyes look up into mine, and I recognize a familiarity. It’s something I see every day I get
up and look in the mirror, and each night before I go to bed, no matter who I take with me.
Loneliness.
I’ve been feeling it for so long, though I didn’t know what it was until the whole paternity shenanigans. The thought of being a father filled a void I hadn’t known existed. And when it was yanked from me, the void was waiting, larger than it was before.
She turns to leave. I wish she’d stay. I wish like hell I knew how to ask her to stay.
It’s plain to see that my feelings for Ashlyn extend beyond lust. It’s not like I’m foolish enough to believe that it’s love, but there’s something there worth exploring.
What the hell are you thinking? As if a woman like that would ever go for a man like you.
I might be right, but that doesn’t make me want to give up. Something about Ashlyn makes me see myself beyond what I’ve been. A glimpse of the man I could become, for the right woman.
It suddenly strikes me, like the sun after the rain. I must have her, but I know that now’s not the time.
This isn’t going to be easy, and it’s certainly not going to happen quickly, but mark my word—
Ashlyn Reed is going to be mine. I just have to formulate a plan, and I’m going to start by going to the one place I’m guaranteed to get to know more about her.
Her books.
Chapter 5
Ashlyn
Some days, I don’t know how I make it, carrying on like I do.
I tuck Gran in, turn off the light, and leave the door ajar so I can hear her bell if she needs me.
My stomach twists with the knowledge that one day I’m going to go in to greet her and…
Don’t go there. Not now.
I push the thought from my mind. She’s the only person I have left in the world. Without her, I’m a kite flying in the wind without a tail.
I make my way into the kitchen and grab a glass of wine, hoping it will help me unwind.
“Mind if I join you?” Jake’s voice jolts me from my thoughts, and I look over to see him five feet away, sweat running down his muscled chest.
And by God, he must have some kind of magical pheromones because every cell of mine is electrified.
Since his‘reading’with Gran, he’s kept busy, nearly completing a list that should take two weeks in five days.
And boy have I thought of a few things I’d like to add to the list.
You can’t trust him,my ever-anxious mind warns.
Part of me wants to run to my room, slam the door, and hide.
But another part of me wants to rejoin humanity and remember what it’s like to talk to someone.
“Care to sit out on the deck?” I offer.
He grabs a beer from the refrigerator. “Lead the way.”
?
