“There were people waiting there with cameras. I’m gonna ask why they won’t air the rest of the footage. Why they won’t show Eva Crosby pressing her wine cooler into Ali’s hand as she’s being attacked.”
“I still can’t believe that they’d float a narrative like they did.”
“What, you can’t believe a tabloid would lie for ratings?”
“It’s different when you see it in action.”
“Call Hillary and set up the interview. I have my own calls I’m going to make. I’ve made some contacts recently, and they might be able to help out.”
“Contacts?”
“Don’t worry about it, just get Hillary on the line.”
I press Hillary’s contact info and hit connect, placing it on speaker. Hillary answers on the third ring.
Garrett:Mrs. Basion, this is Jake from Nebraska.
Hillary:Oh, I remember you.
Garrett:Yeah, well…I thought over your proposition, and I think I wanna go ahead and get my side out there. My sister would like to accompany me on air. She happens to be Ali’s childhood best friend.
Hillary:While I do thank you for your change of heart, I already got the interview I needed, and I’ve already left out of Nebraska.
Irene takes the phone from my hand.
Irene:Well, come back, then!
Hillary:You and Garrett are welcome to submit statements to the email on my card, and I’ll make sure they get into an articles if there’s anything worth noting. I’ll pay $1,000 each for written statements.
Irene:Anything worth noting? Well, Ali Kat Carter facesat my brother!
My eyes grow round with fear. “No—”
Irene:And Brett loves facesitting too. He lives for it. How do I know this? Because I’ve facesitted the crap out of him.
I’m rendered speechless as my sister continues on with her tirade of raunchy sex details Hillary never asked for. Details I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from.
Hillary:I’m booking a flight back down now.
Irene:Great. Oh, and get Brett and Rose there as well. It’s gonna be a freakin’ party!
Irene hangs up my phone and hands it back to me.
“Really? Could that have gone any worse?” I ask.
“Actually, it went exactly according to plan.”
