“What? I always wanted you around.” He answered emphatically, as if I were crazy to suggest otherwise.
“Not that day,” I huffed a soft laugh which lacked humour. “It was so long ago, it doesn’t even matter.”
“It does matter,” he insisted, his tone softening. “I should’ve asked you long before now. It’s always sat in the back of my mind, but it never felt like the right time to bring it up.”
I sighed, the weight of the memory settling in my chest before I inhaled deeply.
“I heard your conversation that day. It seems stupid even saying it aloud now, it was so long ago. But I heard what you said about me. Heard you call me a ‘kid’ and a ‘nobody’. Apparently, my eavesdropping skills put me in good stead because I heard it all. And I think I was embarrassed and a little heartbroken.” Iconfessed with a sad smile, leaving the extent of the love I’d harboured for him unsaid.
“Fuck,” he huffed, his head shaking and his brows knitted in a frustration I couldn’t quite read.
“I’m so sorry you heard that. That must’ve sounded awful. Fuck, I barely remember that conversation, other than knowing your brother wanted the girls there because he liked one of them back then. I was probably just saying whatever I could to get her to come over - for him. Fuck, Ev, I’m sorry. I never thought that way about you. Besides Seb, you were my only real friend. And I think,” he ran a hand through his hair before finishing, “in some ways, you always knew me better than even he did. You saw me differently.”
I listened, uncertain how to feel or where to look. I’d clung to my memories of that day, the only perspective I’d ever had being challenged, but what he said and the sincerity in his voice told me he was being honest.
We slowed at a red light, and he took the moment. Turning toward me, he reached over and gently lifted my chin until our eyes met.
“You must know, Evy, I always wanted you around. Even when I shouldn’t have.”
His words settled heavy between us, and I wondered if maybe, just maybe, I’d been right all along - that Cooper did feel some of what I felt, even if he’d never dared to admit it, not even to himself. And yet, here I was, back in his life as if fate had quietly nudged us together, again pulled into his world by the invisible threads of my brother.
EVA
How do you feel about choc-chip cookies? I need your help. I’m giving myself a stomach-ache trying to work these numbers. Do you think you could come to Golden Spades today? I need your unpaid labour and will provide all the baked goods.
XAVIER
You had me at cookies. Pin me the location.
Xavier arrived with an XL mango smoothie and an aura of familiarity I’d sorely missed, and I barrelled into him as soon as he got out of the car.
“God, I’ve missed you,” I squealed with delight, nearly knocking the cup tray from his hand.
“If you spill my chai latte you are dead to me,” he said with no heat and an arm firmly around my waist in a squeeze, his way of saying he missed me too.
“I need this as much as I need your brain,” I took the smoothie, having a long sip. “We need to go back to that cafe together, these are divine.”
“Now I’m a graduate, I am as free as a bird.” He grinned. “And hopefully I’ll have a full-time job with your brother soon so I can be cashed up and spend my days staring at the sexiest Micallef in the family.”
“Excuse you!” I laughed. “So jealous you’re finished, but also immensely proud you survived Miranda Priestly. Not even going to argue over the comment about my brother.” I gestured towards the entrance to Golden Spades, and he followed.
“Am I expecting the same reception I received from your boss last time?” He asked.
“Who knows?” I joked. “Although he has been particularly happy of late.”
“Regular sex will do that,” Xavi whispered, and I smirked.
“It’s not regular, it was one time.” He swivelled to face me so fast I was surprised he didn’t get whiplash. “Okay,” I laughed, “A couple. But it’s been a little while,” I said, adding a hint of disappointment and choosing not to tell him I would have mounted him like a tree last night, only I’d fallen asleep before he arrived home.
“Anywayyyy, I’m desperate for your brain. I might be going insane.” When he didn’t reply, I glanced over and caught the look of pure astonishment on his face, wide-eyed and completely absorbed as he took in everything around him.
“Pretty impressive, huh?” I remembered the feeling of awe when I first laid eyes on the distillery. The sheer size of the cavernous space. The warm glow of the stills under the factory lights and the rows of aging whiskey - a timeline for all to see.
“How many barrels?”
“613.”
“Oh.” His pursed lips depicted his understanding. “Surely your eyes twitch just walking in here.”
