“Why are you telling me?” His torso tightened and I threw my left pad up, blocking his hit. We followed this path for another minute, while I thought about the answer. Of all the things I expected from him, that question was the last.
WhywasI telling him? What was the end game? Was there an end game?
“I don’t know,” I answered calmly, like I wasn’t in my own vortex of confused realisation. I met his next jab easily, but the rapid follow up got me unexpectedly on the chin. Deservedly.
What the fuck was I thinking?
“Because you fucking love stirring shit,” he heaved, giving me a second to recover. “The thrill of the chase and then you’ll disappear, just like you always do. Back to your fucking secret life where no one is allowed to ask questions or fucking care about you. And if they do, you’ll sabotage, hurt or destroy. That same life where you go to seedy fucking places and let that prick turn you into something you aren’t.”
It was my turn to feel the sting of shock. I’d never shared anything about The Cellar with him and I’d never dared mention Marcus. I should have known better. When Seb wanted to know something, he didn’t stop until he had everything he needed. Stealthy mother fucker.
“Surprised? Please, you disappear for days on end and always after you see your fucking parents. You never talk about it but when you come back, the bruises and cuts are obvious, and you simmer. I knew when you said you weren’t fuckingstreetfighting, that you were intentionally being evasive. Funny, you’re always happy to call me on my bullshit but I’m not allowed to do the same.”
My feet were moving, small steps side to side, only the sparring had turned verbal, both of us with hands hanging limply at our sides.
“But now suddenly you want to talk about feelings? Aboutmy sister? Well, I’m not her keeper, and who knows, maybe she’s already seeing someone. Not like she would openly just tell her older brother who she’s dating.”
Jealousy spurred through me, hot and angry.
“I know your family is fucked up,” he continued, “But here’s a tip, Coop, family look out for each other. They care for each other. And I can’t - I can’t let you treat her like one of your toys.”
My vision blurred and the air around us charged like electricity about to strike as clouds of red edged my vision.
“Are you fucking joking?” I snapped. The hues of fury licking at my palms daringly. “Fuck you,” I spat. The truth in his words was bitter in the back of my throat.
He finally threw another hit, as if his verbal jabs hadn’t just fucking clocked me, but I side-stepped, ducking with just enough time to spare. “What did she say?” He asked, pulling me back to the surface.
“I haven’t told her,” I admitted, meeting the next three hits easily with the pads. “I’ve always been protective of her,” I continued. “But it feels different now.”
His scowl was deep, his throws quick and with more force than normal, but I could see his anger was dissipating – slowly being replaced with concern.
“She’s my sister,” his voice was quiet, but I heard it as if he were shouting. He ceased punching, his eyes glued to mine as his chest rose and fell rapidly.
He was worried. Worried for her and what I might do.
“She isn’t just anybody,” he huffed. “It’s Evangeline.”
I took a step back as if his words had physically wounded me. He thought she meant nothing to me.
My best mate, mybrother, really thought I didn’t know her worth.
I knew he’d be annoyed, I expected much worse, but I didn’t think he would worry I’d use or hurt her. I had my demons. My dating history was nothing to brag about and my relationship with my parents wasn’t anything to write home about. I alsodidn’t have the first clue on how to communicate, unless it involved my fists, but being with her was different.
And I was starting to crave it. Starting to crave her.
“You’ve never committed to anyone,” he scoffed. “And while I’m not her keeper, I won’t let you hurt her,” he promised.
“Fuck you,” I seethed. “I would never fucking betrayyoulike that.” I said through clenched teeth. “But more importantly, I would never fucking do that toher.” I sneered, defeated, ripping the straps from the pads and dropping them onto the floor. Nothing productive was going to come from this conversation now and I didn’t want to say something I’d regret, or hear more twisted truths designed to cause maximum pain.
“Guess blood really is thicker than water.” I fumed. The realisation brought a dangerous feeling of loneliness, the defensive gates I erected to protect myself rapidly rising.
“She’sourfamily,” he emphasised, his misplaced worry slipping as remorse pressed forth.
“Only she isn’t, is she?” I sighed resignedly.
He watched me grab my keys and head for the door. Neither of us spoke another word – which wasn’t surprising really because I sure as shit didn’t have anything else to say to him and he would do what he always did when I was like this – give me space.
CHAPTER 18
