“You were in your element,” I teased. “At one point I thought you were actually going to buy one of his properties.”
“To be honest, I was nodding and smiling but I was really just thinking about what I was going to eat tonight.”
“And what did you decide?”
“I’d like to say pasta but it depends on what the others have because I might get fomo if they get the steak.” I must have looked confused as she elaborated.
“Oh, I’m heading out with Marlee and the girls tonight - if that’s okay?” The disappointment curled in my stomach as if I had any right to keep her glued to my side and I mustn’t have hidden it very well as she kept going.
“I actually can’t be bothered, but they won’t take no for an answer. Unless you need me here?”
“Ev,” I started, trying to keep it tight with a simple ‘you do you’ kind of answer. “You don’t have to check in with me. Our deal’s strictly on the clock, remember?”
A flicker of suspicion tightened her expression. “Right.” With one brow arched, she stepped around me and it was only then I noticed we were still holding hands. I didn’t want to let go and for a second, I contemplated asking her to stay, only I had no reason. No right.
A slow knowing smile tugged at her lips, wordlessly asking if I planned to release her anytime soon and I fought my banal urges. Urges to slide my fingers in her hair, to run my tongue along her lips and beg for entry. After earlier I wanted more. Needed more. I wondered what her reaction would be if I trailed a finger up her stomach. If her body would be receptive and responsive to my touch.
“You took your chance while you had it, didn’t you?” She asked, her brow raised mockingly, and I shrugged, unclasping our hands.
“Had to convince them we were engaged.” I lied, with a forced smirk.
She waved her finger, looking at the ring admiringly. “I’m sure this did the trick. It’s stunning.”
“It is.” I agreed. “Pretty sure the pain of not asking me about it likely gave Ma a hernia.”
“I noticed that too,” she grinned. “But to be fair, Iunderstand. I can’t stop looking at it either. Where the hell did this even come from?” Her eyes were still downcast, giving me a moment to formulate a response without the added scrutiny of her all-knowing gaze.
I didn’t want to lie to her, but the truth was going to lead to far too many questions I didn’t have answers for.
“Oh, I just grabbed it from a store in the city the other day,” I said simply, deciding a half-true was best before opening the front door and gesturing for her to enter first.
“Well, thank you then,” she gleamed. “I’m going to thoroughly enjoy wearing this for the next few months. And the girls are going to lose their minds tonight.” I wasn’t proud of the feeling, but the thought of people other than my parents thinking of us as a couple settled something within me. Very fucking much actually.
And it was enough to remind me that most of my blood was still inconveniently pooled below my waist. My body still aching with memories of the weight of her pressed against me. Something which once upon a time hadn’t been a big deal. Something which was natural. Until the day she ran from my life, tears streaking her face, no explanation, no goodbye.
Recollections of the way she looked at me like she was broken flashed forward as I did my best to suppress the emptiness which accompanied her absence from my world.
It was another two years before I spoke to her again after that and since, it was sporadic and lacked substance. She would hurry out as Seb and I arrived, or she’d get home while I was there but unable to say more than a hello because ‘studying couldn’t wait’ or she was ‘on a super important call’. Anything to avoid spending more than a few minutes with me and I’d lived unsure what caused that fracture.
“It suits you,” I said, forcing as much casual ease into my voice as I could manage. “And thanks for today. You gave them more than they deserve.”
“All part of the job.” She shrugged as if she didn’t have a care in the world. As if she had no idea that my hand strategically placed in my pocket was there to disguise the world’s largest boner because of how damn sexy she looked wearing that fucking ring.
“I better get ready,” the comment drifted out behind her as she strolled to her room without so much as a hint of discomfort.
My emotional range wasn’t expansive. Most days I handled things with a steady grin and an aura of remedial calm. Though every so often, usually after a visit with my folks, something darker crept in and those moments of simmering, bone-deep rage came in short, sharp, potent bursts.
But now, my little housemate was stirring up something else entirely. A mess of new and old feelings I wasn’t used to navigating.
And the first one was confusion.
Confusion over feelings I couldn’t yet label.
I paced the open path of my living room, miles away mentally and knowing I was going to need to get out tonight or I would go insane wondering what she was telling everyone. If she really liked the ring and was excited to show the girls. Or if playing pretend was a burden she couldn’t be bothered to entertain.
So consumed with the fog of uncertainty, I didn’t realise how long I’d been spiralling until Evangeline returned all dressed up and ready for dinner. She’d done her hair in an up style, a few loose curls hanging either side of her face, the square framed black glasses she wore highlighting the molten lava of her eyes. I couldn’t fathom how it had taken me this long to really see her. But now? I couldn’t look away and I clenched my jaw to stop myself from begging her to stay.
“Are you okay?” She asked, confusion in her gaze as she approached cautiously.
