“I don’t.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“I…I’m sorry,” I say again, the words tumbling over each other, frantic and mortified. “I got carried away, I didn’t mean—”
He takes a step toward me, and my breath hitches. My mind blanks, every thought evaporating as he closes the space between us.
“I don’t like being touched,” he repeats, eyes searching mine, the golden light within them flickering like there’s a storm brewing just beneath the surface. “By anyone but you.”
His confession comes out in ragged pants and slowly, ever so slowly, he reaches for my hands. His calloused fingers brush against mine, and he guides them back to where they were—around his neck.
His entire body shudders at the contact, his breath escaping in a sharp, uneven exhale. And it’s almost as if there’s a current passing between us, heavy and humming.
My heart takes on a life of its own, wild and untamable, beating harder and harder, faster and faster.
He doesn’t like being touched…by anyone but me.
“Though, I often feel,” he says, breaking the silence, “that I don’t deserve it.”
His head dips, and his lips brush the sensitive skin between my neck and shoulder, and now I’m the one who shudders. My legs threaten to collapse, but I hold myself steady.
This prince. This man. Always so careful, so guarded, and cautious. Trying so hard to never allow himself tofeel. But here he is, breaking his own rules, and it’s undoing me piece by piece.
“You asked me once what you share with the shadows,” I whisper, my voice faint, but with him so close, I know he can hear me. “I didn’t have an answer for you then.”
He lifts his head, pulling back just enough so his gaze meets mine. I raise my chin, allowing myself a better view of his golden eyes, and I feel like I’m drowning.
“But you do now?” His voice is like a caress, wrapping around me, threatening to consume my mind, body, and soul.
“I do,” I say, my throat tight and dry, the words barely making it past my lips.
“Tell me, Nova,” he murmurs, his lips so close to mine that I can feel the warmth of his breath. “What do I share with the shadows?”
I force a swallow, my pulse racing even more than it already was, a desperate rhythm I can’t control.
“You like your solitude,” I begin, the words forming slowly in my mind. “It’s the reason you have this secret room, hidden away, concealed from others. You crave the quiet, the stillness. But you’re also haunted. By what, I don’t know. And I doubt you’ll ever tell me because even though honesty seems important to you, you still value your secrets.”
His gaze darkens, his body tensing slightly beneath my touch.
“But I know it’s not your doing. The darkness you believe exists within your soul. It’s not there because of something you did. It was forced upon you. And still, you carry it.”
He exhales shakily. I hadn’t even realized he’d been holding his breath.
“You rarely show your true emotions,” I continue, my voice growing steadier despite the speed of my heart. “It’s as if you’re constantly wrestling with some inner conflict, like there’s a battle raging inside you that no one else can see. But like the shadows, you’re steady. Always there, always present. A silent shield.” My fingers tighten slightly against the nape of his neck, my voice dipping to a whisper. “You do better than protect. You make others feel strong.”
His eyes bounce between mine, and for a moment, I think he might say something, might confess something. But instead, he leans in even closer, his forehead pressing gently against mine.
“And do you? Feel strong, Nova?”
I allow myself to mull over his words,feelthem in my mind, and I wonder how they’ll feel on my lips, not only saying them out loud but actually believing them.
“I do.”
I really do.
And maybe, he was right the other night. Maybe I would survive the third trial,even if I wasn’t an Essentari.It’s not something I’ve thought much about, not until he brought it up.
But it feels nice to feel that way. To say the words and have someone else not only hear them butbelievethem.
