“At the bridge. Why did you stop fighting?” he repeats.
I just stare at him, still taken aback by the sadness in his voice.
A muscle ticks in his cheek.
“I’m not sure if you noticed, but I was kind of outnumbered,” I mutter, not wishing to relive that night.
He turns to me then, the speed of it nearly knocking me off balance. He’s standing so close I can feel the heat coming from his body. I can smell the sage, and my insides feel like they’re on fire, but I don’t step away, something about the look in his eyes keeps me from moving.
“You were outnumbered when the fightbegan. And you stillfought. You always need to fight, Serafina. But you stopped. You decided your life didn’t matter. You accepted death.” His words are harsh, and I grit my teeth because he hasno ideawhat he’s talking about.
“Easy for someone who’s never been faced with it to say.” My nostrils flare, and he sucks in a shaky breath.
“It’s late.” His eyes leave mine as he clears his throat. “I should let you get some rest.”
I bite my tongue because I want to protest. I want to tell him to stay a bit longer, but I don’t.
I don’t because he’s arrogant.
I don’t because there’s a pit in my stomach thatheput there.
I don’t because…he’s right. I did give up. I did stop fighting.
He makes his way to the door.
“Happy birthday, Nova,” he says.
His swirling eyes dance across my face, and I tilt my head. No one has ever called me that before, but I guess with my last name being Octonova, it makes sense as a nickname, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the sound of it.
“Good night, Jax.” I can feel the muscles in my face relax as the anger fades. “And thank you for the cake,” I throw out becausedespite where our conversation went, I do want to leave things on good terms.
He looks at me, really looks at me, and I have no idea what he sees, but then he nods and slips through the slightly cracked door.
Chapter 13
Serafina
I’ve been at the palace for two weeks now. Two weeks of hot showers, clean clothes, and a warm bed. Only two weeks, and I already don’t know how I’ll ever go back to the way things used to be.
Since my birthday, every day has been more or less the same. Ishla wakes me each morning with a hot dish in hand. A dish I always question. A dish that doesn’t make sense because how do they have so much food when the earth is dying and the fields are nearly bare? But they do, and it makes me mad. So mad and so hateful of those who live withinthese city walls.
Not only do residents of the Imperial City not have to compete in the trials, but apparently, they don’t have a need to ration their resources.
I can’t help but wonder how much of the crops from Village 28 make their way here. How much of the food grown inmyvillage, bymyfather, is sent away from the hungry mouths that need it so badly?
Then, after my mental war is over, and I get over the fact that Ishla has brought me far more food than one person should ever possibly consume in a single sitting, I eat while I beg her to put off her duties to chat with me for longer than she says she should. And when she does decide to leave me, I read.
I read for hours, learning all I can and then actually trying to implement it.
A week ago, I started reading about meditation, how it’s supposed to strengthen the bond between the Essentari and the element they wield.
It’s something I’ve been prioritizing, even though I nearly die of boredom every time. But meditation is supposed to calm one’s temper, sharpen your focus, two things that are absolutely necessary in order to have control over my abilities.
So I’ve been meditating for an hour each day, right up until Ishla arrives with my dinner. Sometimes Ryjax joins me then and we eat together, but more often than not, he arrives at my room long after the sun has set. I’m not sure what he does during the day, I don’t ask, and he doesn’t offer up much information. But I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that he’s the prince of a dying kingdom.
“Serafina.”
The sound of Ishla’s voice on the other side of the door makes me immediately leap from my bed. I place the book I’d been reading about the Hydrokin on the desk.
