I was able to bring flames to my hands instantly, the rage he was responsible for creating, making it easy. But Ryjax says not to use anger to fuel my flames, so since then…nothing. I’ve produced absolutely nothing.
“Serafina, you need to focus,” Ryjax says, his voice calm, which only infuriates me more.
Every day hasbeen the same.
I wake up, study the books he brought me about the Essentari forhours, and then he visits me in the evening for our lessons. A routine that’s driving me crazy. A routine I can’t fathom continuing for even a few more days, let aloneweeks.
“You think I’m not focusing?” I clench my jaw, hands still resting on my knees. I don’t want to look at his face, a face that always seems to be trying far too hard to not show any emotion, so I look at the ground instead. “It’s been three days, Jax.Threedays.And I haven’t been able to produce a single flame.” My head pounds, and my temples ache.
Why can’t I do this?
Because you’re weak, Serafina. You’re weak, and that hasn’t changed just because you’re a Pyroflame.
“I know you’re not focusing. If you were, you would’ve tapped into the flames by now.” His tone makes me want to throttle him.
“You knownothing,” I seethe, standing from my hunched position and glaring at the prince who has become the bane of my existence. The prince that represents everything I hate, everything I loathe, becausehenever had to compete.Henever had to face the trials, and it isn’t fair. His people suffer whileheliveshere.
“I know that every time you fail to form the connection with your fire, you start doubting yourself.” He takes a step toward me, eyes locked on mine, and even though I want to look away, I can’t because there’s something about his voice that seems so genuine, so sincere, and my breath catches in my throat. “But I don’t doubt you because Iknowyou can do this.” He takes another step and the way he’s looking at me makes me forget to breathe, because no one has ever said what he’s saying to me before. “Because I’ve seen you do it. So justdo it, Serafina.” His voice is a challenge, and Ihatechallenges. But I close my eyes and try to do what he says.
I picture the flames. The colors, their melodic dance. But I don’t feel the heat. If I can’t do this, how will I ever find my way back to my family? My parents? Char?
Char.
Char with his bright blue eyes and charming smile.
Char with his strong arms and protective nature.
What did Norin do to him? Is he hurt? Does he know what happened to me? Does he know I’m not dead?
“You’re still not focusing.” Ryjax lets out a deep breath. I open my eyes, and he’s shaking his head.
“Yes, I am,” I fire back.
“Then, prove it.”
“I can’t!” I scream because I hate everything about this. I hate that I’m an Essentari. I hate that I’m locked in this room. And I hate the man standing in front of me who wants me to do these things that I clearlycannotdo.
“You can,” he says, and my temper flares.
“Do you think this is easy?” I yell, wanting to fall to the ground, but I keep myself upright, breathing fast and heavy.
“Fuck no. Far from it.”
“What?” I blink, his response catching me off guard.
“When I first called upon the light, it was for a fraction of a second, and then I wasn’t able to do it again for months. It’s fucking hard, and it hurts like hell. But you’ve already done it multiple times, which tells me you’re stronger than I was.” He holds up his hands. “Which is why I know youcando this.” Light blasts from his fingers, radiant and beautiful before disappearing entirely.
Great. He’s delusional. The future king of our country is absolutely, undeniably, gods-damned delusional.
“You just need to—”
“Focus?” I cut him off, never wanting to hear him say that word again. “How am I supposed to focus when everything feels sowrong?” I turn away from him because he’s right. I’m not focusing, and now he knows it. “My parents are probably worried sick about me. My best friend might be dead. And if I’m not careful, I’ll be dead soon, too.”
My hands fall to my sides, and I look back at him.
“Don’t say that.”
“Why? It’s the truth? You want me to focus? Well, I can’t. I’m not like you,Your Royal Highness.” I can’t help but notice the way he flinches when I call him by his title. “And I still don’t understand why you care so much. So what if I die? It will make no difference to you.”
