So then, who the hell was it?
“Are you going to tell her?” Theo asks, pulling at his hair. “Are you going to tell her the truth?”
“I can’t.” Even though she deserves it.
“They all do,”whispers Ajja.
But if she learns the truth, my fatherwillkill her. He won’t hesitate.
“She’ll never forgive you. You know that, right? If she finds out…she’ll never forgive you.”
“I know.” I turn away from him, my fists tightening as rage seeps its way into every part of me.
But maybe that’d be good for her.
To hate me.
It’s better than her feeling anything else.
Not with who I am, what I’ve done.
I don’t deserve anything but her hate.
But even that I’d welcome because at least it would mean she feelssomethingfor me. And my heart couldn’t handle it if she felt nothing at all.
Chapter 29
Serafina
I awoke in my bed a few weeks ago, and now my third trial is only days away. I haven’t seen the prince since we were in the throne room, since they dragged me away and threw me in the dungeon.
That’s the last thing I remember from that night, being tossed in a cell and hearing Nyxa’s voice slowly fade. But somehow, that’s not where I found myself when my eyes opened, when the pain in my forehead subsided, and I could finally think straight again.
I know Ryjax had something to do with it. I know he did something to get me out, to keep his wretched father from killing me that night. But I don’t have a clue what it was. And I haven’tbeen able to ask him because notoncehave I seen him. Notoncehas he come to my room.
And it’s killing me.
It’s killing me that he’s choosing to stay away. It’s killing me becauseI knowhe thinks he’s doing what’s best for me, and I have no way of telling him that he’s being an absolute idiot.
I’m worried about him.
Every day, I worry. And every night, I lie awake, wishing and hoping and praying that he’ll be brave enough to face me, tolet me in.
But every morning, I awake feeling disappointed with the most frustrating ache in my chest. And this morning is no different.
Flinging the quilt to the ground, I stand, more determined than ever to call upon my flames and bend them to my will.
I’m stronger now. My muscles have adjusted to the power I wield. My eyes no longer prick with tears at the pain commanding the flames used to bring.
I’m an Essentari.
Now my only wish is that the element I’m able to wield could somehow help save this dying planet of ours. But what good could fire bring?
Fire breeds destruction. Fire eradicates what lives. Fire consumes the things that require air to breathe.
Fire doesn’t heal.
Fire doesn’thelp.
