Anu’s barely speaking to me. Monotonous answers are the response I get to questions. She sleeps in a different bed, and it feels like she’s living in a different apartment from me. I go to my room and close the door. I know she’s only here because I’m somehow forcing her to be here with me for security reasons. I don’t know how to get through to her. Andrea came to visit, and I had to express my frustration to her.
“She’s not speaking to me,” I say brooding.
“You broke her trust, Daniel.” I sigh. “Remember, I told you it’s not easy for them. They don’t let people in, and she let you in.” She pauses. “It may not be your fault, but you didn’t believe her, and she is scared to let you in again.”
“What do I do? I can’t lose her.” I let out my fear.
“You must beg for forgiveness, and then show her you will never betray her trust again. Because I saw her, and how she was ready to die because you broke up with her. She survived that, and I know her not wanting to go there again is why she’s not letting you in.”
Shit,she’s right.
“Thank you,” I say to her before she leaves.
I went back in to check on Anu, and the silence in the room made it hard to tell if she was truly asleep or just pretending to be. But I do know I will do everything in my power to keep us together. She had Nkem bring her PJs over and has shunned my shirts. She doesn’t hum and there’s no breezy laugh. Just quiet Anu and it frustrates me that I let lies get between us.
I return to the living room, frustrated and at a loss on how to move us past this roadblock. I sit in my thoughts, trying to figure out how to move us forward. Buying a gift won’t work with Anu, I remind myself.
I hear movements and get to my feet. She goes to the kitchen to grab bottled water and opens a few cabinets. She’s searching for her usual cookies. I forgot to bring that over, but I do go to her. She sidestepped me and I move quickly to block her path. She doesn’t look at me.
“Anu, please, forgive me. Tell me what to do to earn your forgiveness,” I plead.
“We are done,” she snaps.
“No,” I say, attempting to take her hand.
Chapter 58
Anu-Ms K
“We. Are. Done,” I say, shouting at him, repeating his words. “I thought I couldn’t live without you, but turns out that I can. It may take years for my heart to heal and learn how to live without you, but it will learn,” I retort, exhaling. “Baby steps,” I mutter to myself, something I’ve been reminding myself of lately. “I appreciate everything you did with Teni, but we have come to the end of our road, and we must say goodbye. You need not worry. I’ll be leaving Chicago soon, so our paths will never cross again,” I solemnly state.
His face creases into a deep frown, and I notice the worry lines etched into his brow.
“Anu, please forgive me. Give me another chance.” His pleading words fall on deaf ears as I scoff at him.
Averting eye contact, I recoil from his touch and notice the disappointment on his face, but right now, I choose me first. A gentle touch from him is all it takes to make me agree to all his terms, even though I should be running to the hills.
“What we had was all or nothing.” I pause. “We hadallbefore.” I catch my breath for moment. “Now, there’s nothing. There’s no halfway or in between.” I pause from my vehement words and emotions. “I don’t hate you. We had a good time, and I’ve mentally accepted my dad’s offer. It all worked out for the best,” I say in a calm voice, and a shrug, maintaining my defiance stance, with a straight face, even as I shatter inside.
He frowns at me.
“You can’t do that,” he shouts in my face.
“Pretty sure I can,” I challenge in a dulcet tone, a stark contrast to his shouts. “Last I checked, I have every right to make decisions for myself.”
“You can’t, because you love me, and I love you.” His voice is heated.
“Sometimes love isn’t enough,” I answer succinctly.
“It is for us, Anu.”
He tries to touch me, and I shriek from him. His exasperation is obvious.
“What can I do, Anu, to earn your forgiveness? Please, tell me. I’ll do anything. Tell me what to do,” he asks, and I hear the plea in his voice. Yet, it all upsets me rather than appease me.
“If you want my goddamn forgiveness, you will be on your fucking knees, and since we both know you are too proud for that, you can stop asking me for another chance, We. Are. Over,” I vehemently state and turn to leave. He forcefully grabs me, and I watch him slide to his knees.
Daniel on his knees makes me freeze in place.
