“You are not eating much of it.”
Her frown deepened, and a flash of anger crossed her features. “I would hate to eat like a Piglet in front of you, my lord.”
Sebastian nearly choked on his own bite. “I…I never thought that you looked like a piglet. That is not where the name came from-”
“I know where the name came from, my lord. I am not a fool.”
No, the name had come from one of the many instances of bullying that she had been subjected to. In hindsight, he saw that it had never really been her that had been the issue; it had always been the cruelty of himself and the other boys.
As he looked across the table at her then, he saw a bit of that girlfrom Derbyshire. Beaten down. Made the fool. It made his skin crawl, so much so that he had to look down at his own plate to outrun the shame that filled him.
“I never should have called you that,” he said, forcing out each word. “I am sorry.”
“Thank you for your apology, my lord.”
He hated that everything she said had such an air of finality to it now.
Another long silence followed, during which time Sebastian wondered if he knew any words at all. Surely there was some combination of them which would end this torment.
“There is a garden exhibit next week. I thought we could-”
“I am not interested in botany.”
So she wasn’t.
It did not matter what he offered up to her - she was not interested in it unless it was some damned alienist event. If he took her to a lecture onthattopic, he may as well fan the flames of scandal for her. It would only encourage her to sneak around and lie some more.
“I see,” was all he said in return. “Perhaps another time.”
That was largely how the rest of the meal went - with Sebastian occasionally attempting conversation, and Augusta quickly shutting it down before it could blossom. Each time he grew more frustrated. Not only with her, but with himself for failing to make any headway. Wooing her with a lie had been so easy. Now, with all truths spoken between them, it felt like wooing a brick wall.
As they stood to depart the dining room later, the air thick with words left unsaid, Sebastian cleared his throat. Only then did Augusta look at him with anything resembling interest.
“I love you,” he said. The words were pulled from him this time, knowing the pain that would follow when the inevitable occurred.
And indeed, it did occur. Augusta narrowed her eyes, her expression heavy with disgust as she turned on her heel and strode from the room.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Sebastian asked her to dine with him again the next evening, before their date at the theatre. This time, however, he asked her to accompany him to a restaurant near Bond Street.
Augusta knew what he was doing. She had known it since the moment he had apologized to her in his study. Her husband wanted her forgiveness desperately. So desperately, in fact, that it was almost sad.
But she did not believe that he wanted it because he was truly contrite. No, Sebastian wanted her forgiveness because he wanted to no longer be plagued by the thought of what he had done to her. He wanted her happy and content with her lot in life so that he could live in his own blissful ignorance, believing that all was well that ended well.
Instead, Augusta awoke that morning feeling furious. It seemed to be the only thing shecouldfeel, besides numbness. Fury at her husband, which burned afresh each time she thought of him. Fury at herself for falling for him. Fury at the world for being the way that it was.
It stayed with her all day, having hardly dissipated by the time their outing rolled around. Dressed in her deep purple evening gown, with her hair done up by Milly, she squared her shoulders and met her husband in the foyer.
He looked up at her as she descended the stairs toward him. Damn the man - that sparkle in his eye could almost trick her into believing he was smitten. He really was a much better actor than she had ever realized.
“You look wonderful,” he said as she approached.
“I figured that if I am forced to get out of bed, I may as well attempt to look like a human being,” she said drolly. “Is the carriage ready?”
He nodded, his gaze still raking over the bodice of her dress. Finally, his eyes returned to meet hers. “Yes.”
She prayed that he would not do what he did next - he held out his arm for her to take. A clear challenge to her willfulness. She pretended not to notice it and swept past him to the door, where she let herself out into the cool night air.
