I did, too, assuming the pain she felt was from her ankle until she spoke again.
“Why should I want to dance with a man who had insulted my vanity? You are not the only one with pride.” She shrugged in an obvious attempt to convince me it was no longer important.
For the first time, I experienced my insult as she must have felt it, and it stung me. At the assembly, I had not cared to widen my circle of acquaintances, had not cared to be presented to Elizabeth. I knew her better now. It bothered me that my thoughtless words had made her doubt my character. But the damage was worse than that. My harsh tongue had made her doubt her own worth.
I bowed my head. “You did right to refuse such a man. He hardly deserves to be called a gentleman.”
She regarded me seriously.
I met her gaze, wishing to communicate my sincerity without a Hawthorn hedge to hold her in place. “I apologize, Miss Elizabeth, from the depths of my soul. My speech was ungentlemanly and unwarranted.” I swallowed hard, knowing that once I said what came next, there would be no going back.She might spurn me as deeply as I had done her, and I would deserve it. “It was also untrue.”
Her eyes widened.
I pressed on, fully committed to righting the great wrong I had done. “I find you very tempting, indeed.” I bit my tongue. I hadmeantto say ‘handsome.’
She peered about us at the cramped space in which the two of us were temporarily trapped and looked askance at me. With a small, teasing smile, she asked, “Ought I to be afraid?”
I appreciated the lightness she introduced and tried to tease in turn. “Are you?”
Her expression immediately changed, and I was certain my attempt at levity had fallen flat. If my admission had caused her to fear, I would walk to Lucas Lodge in the hail and bring help to her rather than force my company upon her.
She shook her head, her face grave. “No, Mr. Darcy. I am not afraid of you. In fact—” She picked at a seam on the blanket, leaving me in suspense until she finally added, “I cannot imagine feeling safer with anyone else than I do at this moment. With you.” She paused, and my chest warmed at her compliment.
We sat in contented silence for some while, safe in each other’s good opinion, protected from the hail battering the roof over our heads. I would have continued in this happy state for the duration of the storm, but Elizabeth was not as inclined to reticence as I was. I savored this small victory and prayed I would not ruin these tentative first steps toward friendship.
CHAPTER 10
No sooner had I begun to consider what a friendship with Elizabeth might mean than she put an end to my internal monologue. “What moved you to accept Sir William’s invitation to call at Lucas Lodge?” she asked conversationally.
More at ease in her company, I replied, “He and his son invited me to see the newest acquisition to their stables. They have been kind neighbors to Bingley. I wished to call on Sir William to prove to him… and myself… that I have not become a complete boor.”
She smiled at me. “That was kind, though I will reassure you on one point: Sir William is much like Mr. Bingley in his tendency to think well of everyone. I doubt there is anything you could have done that would make him think poorly of you.”
“He is kinder than most.”
My comment’s effect was contrary to what I had intended; it did not inspire Elizabeth to smile.
Instead, she chewed on the corners of her lips again. It occurred to me that she did this whenever she was anxious. “He is kinder than I have been. Mr. Darcy, I must apologize. I mocked you to my family and friends… to whoever mightlend their support to me and turn against you, a stranger and newcomer. I regret the damage I might have done to your reputation here, sir.”
So intent had I been on my apology to her, I had never imagined she might have a reason to apologize to me. The reciprocity soothed my conscience even more than her forgiveness did, and I was grateful for it. “If your neighbors turn against me, it is because I gave them reason to think unfavorably of me. It is not a condition without remedy, and I ascribe none of the blame to you.”
She nibbled on her bottom lip and then tried to stick out her hand but thought better of it when the blanket slipped down her bare shoulder. “Shall we imitate Sir William and focus instead on each other’s merits, Mr. Darcy? May we start over with a fresh slate wiped clean of all our offenses and misunderstandings?”
I could conceive of nothing I would like better and told her so.
With a deep breath, she smiled. I wondered if she felt half as content as I did. “Now that I have gained your improved opinion”—really, she must have no idea how highly I held her in my estimation—“I shall divulge the reason I was caught walking alone in this tremendous storm.” She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. “I, too, was on my way to Lucas Lodge. I meant to call on Charlotte but discovered Mr. Collins is now a guest in her home. Having only refused his offer of marriage yesterday, I did not feel my presence desirable.”
Would that I have been a fly on the wall to overhearthatconversation! “You really refused him?”
“Most resolutely.”
As I could well imagine! I should not have smiled, but I did. “Was that why you were not wearing a coat when we met by the hedgerow?”
Her cheeks reddened. “I was irate. He did not believe me at first, and then he dared to insult me by declaring I teased him to increase his suspense. As if I did not thoroughly know my own mind!”
I had never met a young lady so confident of her own thoughts as Elizabeth Bennet. Even when she was wrong, her conviction was fierce.
“My mother claimed she would never speak to me again, and she has kept her word.”
