Elizabeth clenched her stomach. “He is everything amiable and gentlemanly! You told me so yourself!”
“And I stand by what I said. But while Mr. Bingley possesses many fine traits, he is still a boy in many ways.” Jane clasped her hands in her lap and smiled. “I would rather marry a man.”
Elizabeth groaned. That the insufferable Mr. Darcy had been right was unbearable. Especially after what she had told him. She groaned again.
Jane looked at her in alarm. “What is it? You do not look well.”
Truth be told, Elizabeth did not feel at all well. “Oh, Jane, I said some things I should not have. I spoke too plainly about his sister, and when he would not be reasonable, I called off our engagement. I told him I could never love him for disappointing my sister, and now I learn that he was right?”
She covered her face with her hands. Oh, what had she done?! Elizabeth had always prided herself on the quickness of her tongue, but not today. Today she had spoken impulsively, emotionally, irrationally.
“Oh, Lizzy!” Jane rubbed her back. “You will have to apologize for that.”
Elizabeth sat up to look at her sister. How could she be so calm?
“And I must apologize to you for leading you to believe that I am still in love with Mr. Bingley. In truth…my affections belong to another.” Jane caressed her cheek.
“I am going to be ill,” Elizabeth grumbled.
“Nonsense. Do you not see how similar you are? It was presumptuous of him to arrange Mr. Bingley’s future as well as his sister’s, but did you not try to do the same with me? You were foolish to speak to him so boldly about his sister, but did he not do the same? I daresay you are right about Miss Darcy, and Mr. Darcywasright about me. Both of you would sacrifice your own happiness to protect others who do not need your protection! Apologize, Lizzy! Make amends!” She sounded so certain.
“I do not know if I can.”
“Now is not the time to be stubborn,” Jane said sternly. “Especially not on my behalf.” With a sly smile, she added, “Allow Mr. Darcy to grovel sufficiently first, and then forgive him.”
“I do not know if he can forgive me after what I said.”
“Love is complicated enough. Do not make it harder! Love is a choice, a decision made by two imperfect people to trust each other through triumphs and tribulations, to exert themselves for each other’s happiness.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“I do not mean to. You and I both know that nothing worth having is easily gained.”
Ah, but that was the problem. Elizabeth loved Fitzwilliam, but she had given him an impossible ultimatum. If he chose his sister over her, then her love for him would die a slow death. That was not good enough.
CHAPTER33
If Richard said anything on the ride back to Netherfield, Darcy did not hear it. He did not hear Bingley ride back to join them either. What did it matter? Little by little, Elizabeth had worked her way into Darcy’s heart, and now there was not a piece of him she did not possess. He wanted no future in which Elizabeth was not a prominent part.
Darcy would have to disappoint someone, and that someone could not be Elizabeth.
Not knowing how to begin or how to proceed once he started, Darcy chose to speak to the point and in as few words as possible. “Bingley, Georgiana fancies you.”
The effect on Bingley was immediate. His mouth gaped open, then he chuckled awkwardly. “Merely a girlish fancy, I hope. Nothing she will not recover from in a week or two? That is how it usually works with me.”
“You have been the sole recipient of her admiration since late summer."
"Two months?" Bingley's voice squeaked. "B-but we spent the summer together. You encouraged it! You told me she had suffered from a heartbreak and asked me to treat her as I would a little sister, with the utmost care and kindness. Why did you not say anything sooner? I might have—I could have—"
"Behaved differently?" Darcy supplied. "Would you have really?"
"But I was only kind! Should I have ignored her entirely?"
"If need be."
"You would have me act like... like..."
"Like Darcy would," Richard supplied, a mockingly innocent expression on his face.
