I turn back to my whiskey and down the contents of my glass and realize that it’s empty. I tap my fingertips on the bar top and the bartender comes down the line to pour me another round.
I stare at the amber contents of my glass and wonder how I could have fucked up my life so badly, but I’m not sure. What could I have done, in this life or another one, to warrant such a fucked up destiny? I sip my whiskey when my phone buzzes again. I hadn’t put it away after Dempsey’s call, instead, I left it on the bar top. It buzzes around while an east Texas number flashes on the screen and I pick it up sliding my finger across the screen to answer the call.
“Garrett,” I answer.
“What the fuck did you do to my sister, you asshole?” is growled through the phone, and I can assume that it’s no one other than Ryan Black. But I don’t have time for that right now.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. If something has happened to MacKenzie I need to know. “What happened?”
“You tell me, shit stain,” he demands. “I left for my hotel to shower and check in with my very pregnant wife, and the next thing I know when I get back to Mack, she’s in her bed sobbing her fucking heart out. So you tell me what’s happened.”
“She told me that she didn’t love me,” I say quietly. “She told me to go and never come back.”
He groans, “What a pigheaded, stubborn mule—”
“Yeah,” I interrupt softly. “But there’s nothing I can do. I can’t change her mind.”
“But can’t you?” he asks me, and I wonder if he’s right. Am I just as stubborn as Mack is? “Look. If you ever cared for my sister, which I think you do, then see this through.”
“I don’t know—”
“I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Garrett. There has only ever been one man, in their entire lives, that I thought was good enough for one of my sisters and that man was you. I’m not usually wrong about people so I figure I’d lay it out for you. But if you walk away now, you’re an idiot too.” And then he hangs up.
I tap the corner of my phone twice on the bar top and think. Is he right? Did I give up too soon? Because if I’m the one who walked away when I shouldn’t have, then I’m all kinds of foolish, just like Black said I was.
And what about the guys? They said Mack is in love with me and called me an idiot too. We never shared our feelings. I was so afraid that I would spook her when she was prepping to leave, but what if it was a mistake not to? What if MacKenzie isn’t confident in how I feel about her, because I never told her? I might have showed her how I really felt, but I never said the actual words.
Fuck. I think I fucked up, but I’m going to fix it.
I stand up, pull enough bills from my wallet to cover my tab and then some. I drop them on the counter, and set my glass on top of them, grabbing my keys and make my way through the crowded bar. My eyes snag on Hooter where he stands, talking to his companions with his arms wrapped around the woman from earlier. He nods to me as I pass and I swear to fucking Christ, there’s a Goddamn twinkle in his eye. The fucker was telling the truth, he wants me for her and so does her brother. There’s only one thing left to do; I need to convince her of the same.
I push through the glass doors and hear the bells jingle, and then I make my way through the parking lot to my truck. I climb in and start the engine. I pull out of the lot and head back to the 805. When I get to La Jolla, I make my way through the smaller streets to the beach where she lives. I pull up to the curb in front of her condo and park before climbing out and make my way up the walk to knock on the door. Black answers almost immediately.
“It’s about fucking time,” he says before holding the door open to me so I can enter. “She’s upstairs.”
I nod to him before making my way up the first flight of stairs and then the next. I can hear her sobbing through the door as I make my way down the hall toward her room, and it fucking kills me. I don’t knock; I just gently pull open the door and close it behind me. She doesn’t hear the door open or close she’s so lost in the torrential downpour of emotions that are tearing her apart.
I crouch down beside the bed and push the hair back that’s fallen in her face so I can see her, and she can see it’s me. MacKenzie has been through enough. I don’t need to startle her so that she panics or lashes out. Until we’ve made some headway on her battle scars, I don’t want to surprise her. It would only do more damage than good and that’s not my intention at all. I want to help heal, not harm.
“Kyle,” she says, surprised to see I’m back, and really, who could blame her? The way I left wasn’t one of my more stellar moments. I can’t go back in time and change the way that I reacted, I can only make it up to her from this moment forward and prove to her that I’m the guy she deserves. I won’t ever leave her again.
“Yeah, honey,” I reply gently. “It’s me.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, wiping her face with the back of her hand. She’s trying to hide that she was crying, but there’s no hiding the mess she’s made of her face. Her nose is running, her eyes are red and puffy, and her creamy skin is all blotchy. But even through it all, she’s still the most beautiful woman that I have ever laid eyes on, inside and out.
“I’m here because I want to be,” I tell her honestly. “I’m here because I need to be. I need to be near you. I love you, MacKenzie.”
“No,” she cries. “Don’t say that! You can’t say that!”
“Why not?” I ask calmly. “It’s true.”
“No.” Snot pours from her nose and even more tears rush down her cheeks. “You can’t love me.”
“Why not?” I ask, confused. If anyone was deserving of everything they want in life and in love, it’s MacKenzie.
“Because,” she says stubbornly. “I’m—”
“You’re what?”
