“Dad, this situation is of your own making,” I remind him once more.
“I knew it was a stupid idea,” he mutters.
“It’s never stupid if you think it’s important and has a purpose,” I say gently.
“You know I love you, right?” he asks.
“I do. You know that I love you?”
“I do.”
“So you’re not dating Bobby?”
“Probably not,” I reply, rolling my bottom lip between my teeth and then letting it go. “I went on one date with him, and it didn’t go very well.”
“Well, good,” he says.
“Really?” I ask, surprised, because I’ve spent so much time thinking that being with Bobby was exactly what my dad wanted for me.
“Yeah, why do you ask?”
“Well,” I say, knowing that I sound like an immature child. “I went out with him, because I had it in my mind that by pitting Bobby and me against one another, it was because you had really wanted to see us together, working together.”
“No,” he blurts. “I never imagined you with Bobby. If anything, I figured you’d end up with a man like King.”
“What?”
“You know, a real man,” he answers. “One who will stand up to you but not beat you down. One who will encourage, not hold you back. Someone who will be a tough nut to crack but if you give them the chance will really love you.”
I’m holding my breath, because King is all of those things. I thought Bobby was the safe answer. I thought he’d be myhappily enougheven if he wasn’t myhappily ever after. And I was wrong. But King encourages me, and he pushes me without holding me back. But my dad is still heartbreakingly wrong, because King will never love me. I’m not even sure he can.
“Dad,” I whisper.
“How’s everything going with King?” Dad asks like it’s no big deal, which makes me feel weird, like my skin is two sizes too small. It’s too tight. I don’t fit in it, and all of my internal organs are being crushed.
So I do the only thing I can do in this scenario. I lie. “Things are good,” I softly singsong.
“Uh huh,” he says. “So are you halfway in love with him yet?”
I know he’s joking. He has to be, right? But still, his offhanded comments catch me off guard. I’m not in love with King. I can’t be. Falling for a man like him would be a recipe for disaster. He’s cold and cut off. He can often be cruel with his words. But he can also be caring and attentive, and that’s not even counting whatever last night was, because while I have no idea what that was, I also know it was somehow different… more. But still, I can’t fall for him, can I?
“Well, that’s a telling answer,” Dad says, shaking me from my thoughts, and I realize I was so lost I didn’t answer, and he decided my no-answer was an actual response, which is the truth, but also not a truth I want out in the opening. “I’ll have to make sure to let him know that I expect my baby girl to be treated right.”
“No!” I shout and remember the man we’re discussing is actually not only in the same room, but also standing fairly close to me. When I shouted, he jumped, ready to protect me from whatever threat there may be. It’s sexy as hell but also terrifying, because I cannot imagine a man like King ever being told by someone’s father to treat them well. He might go all Thanos and snap everyone out of existence. I just don’t know. “It’s not what you think, Dad.”
“I’m not so sure—” he starts, but I don’t let him finish.
“Well, I am,” I say resolutely. “So don’t do that. Just let it be.”
“I only ever wanted you to be happy.”
“I am.”
“Maybe find a man who will do right and show you a better example than I did.”
“Dad—”
“It’s true,” he says, and I can tell by his tone that he’s lost in his own thoughts now. “I never should have failed your mom. A better man wouldn’t have.”
