Dated. Sure. We’ll go with that. “Twenty-eight, actually.” She waited until the day after my birthday to end things. Really thoughtful of her, right?
“Wow. Okay. Now I feel like the shithead. I don’t know why I assumed you weren’t the commitment type. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Not like I gave her any reason to believe otherwise.
I know how to be in a relationship. What I don’t know is how to be single. I fucked around for the last four years, but all I found was emptiness.
Loren doesn’t make me feel empty.
She makes me feel so full I could burst.
We fall down next to each other, her head tucked into the crook of my neck and my arms wrapped around her, like this is the most natural thing in the world for us. Like we’ve been doing this our whole lives.
“Why did the two of you break up?”
Talk about killing the mood. It’s like she just knocked me into one of those icy cold dunk tanks they have at my mom’s fundraisers.
As much as I hate talking about the past, August was right. If I ever want to move on, I need to get used to being vulnerable again. This feels like as good a time as any to start.
Let’s see. How do I explain what happened to Alice and me without telling her every single horrible detail? We stopped trying. In the end, neither of us had the energy or the inclination to stand our ground or meet each other halfway. We just kind of…evaporated.
“Let’s just say, guys aren’t the only ones who think the grass is always greener on the other side.”
Her palms flatten over my chest. “Hold on. She broke up with you?”
“That’s right.”
“Shebroke up withyou?” Loren repeats, slower this time.
She’s so cute when she’s indignant. “This is really doing wonders for my ego.” If she keeps it up, I might never let her go.
“Seriously though. I don’t understand why anyone would give you up.”
She doesn’t know how much I needed to hear that. I don’t want to make Alice out to be the villain here. After everything that happened, we were both at fault. But Alice was the one who ultimately pulled the plug on us. Who decided that what we had wasn’t worth fighting for.
That I wasn’t worth fighting for.
I’m not saying that I’m a prize by any means, but I like to think I treated her well. That I loved her with all that I was.
“Alice and I were together since we were kids. I guess she just never got a chance to figure out what she wanted.” Only that she didn’t want me.
“Her loss.”
I can’t help but smile up at the ceiling. “Go to sleep, Loren.”
“Will you kiss me first?”
“Chaos, I’ll kiss you anytime you want.”
When Loren eventually falls asleep in my arms, I breathe her in, letting her chaotic energy soften my calloused heart.
CHAPTER 42
LOREN
Megalodon
Is it possible to fall in love with someone’s arms but hate their personality?
