“I love you, too,” she said, burying her face in his neck. “I want very much to be with you, Nick.”
He took her mouth with his, kissing her with fervent intensity. When he broke the kiss, he brought her hands to his swollen lips. “Meet me at the hunting cabin tonight, after it is dark. We can be alone there, just the two of us with no one to disturb us.”
She looked at their hands, attempting to mask her frown.
“What is it, Eliza? If you have doubts, we can wait,” Nick said. He lifted her chin to meet his mesmerizing green eyes. His chestnut hair was just a bit longer than was fashionable, and it made him all the more roguish and handsome. “Look at me. I mean it, if this isn’t something you wish to do—”
“It’s not that,” she said, cutting him off.
“Then is it something I have done? Did you not enjoy when I touched you…” his voice trailed off as he gestured towards her skirts.
“It is most certainly not that either,” she said before swallowing hard. She had quite enjoyed it when he introduced her to the most exquisite pleasure she had ever experienced. “It’s just that I know you have experienced these things before, and I haven’t a clue what to expect or what to do.”
Nick had always been honest with her, and he told her of his time at Cambridge and that there had been women who warmed his bed. He spared her the details, which she appreciated, but she wasn’t so secure in herself that it didn’t spark a flicker of jealousy, especially when she was about to lay herself bare before him.
She knew that the rules of society were different for men than women, especially since Nick was two-and-twenty and exposed to the things men do while at university, but it didn’t mean she had to like it.
He cupped her cheek with his hand. “My love, you will be perfect. All I need is you. The rest we can explore together.”
“But you—”
“Nothing that happened before you matters,” he said, cutting her off, “and I know it isn’t fair for me to say so, but I would be driven mad if I had to imagine even the mere notion of another man touching you. If I could change the past, I promise you, I would. Just know that it is of little import to me. You are my future. My everything.”
She pressed onto her toes and kissed him again. “I will meet you tonight. I shall have to wait until after Papa goes to bed if I hope to leave.” Her papa would not approve of her sneaking out to meet any man, let alone the son of the Earl of Craven. He might have apoplexy if he knew she intended to give Nick her virtue. Papa tolerated Nick’s presence when he came to call only because of the politeness society expected. She was certain Papa would refuse him if it wouldn’t upset Eliza. Perhaps when she and Nick married, their fathers might resolve things between them. One could only hope.
He brought her hand to his lips again and kissed her knuckles. “You had better return home before someone comes looking for us,” he said. “I will see you tonight, my love.”
She took his lips again for a few quick pecks and peeked around the corner from the back of her family’s stables, ensuring no one could see her as she hurried back towards the house. Her father might tolerate Nick visiting for tea, but if he caught her with him unchaperoned, she wasn’t certain she’d see the light of day again. They had to get creative to find ways to sneak off without her maid in tow.
Eliza made it back to the terrace of her grand country home without anyone taking notice. As soon as she entered, she almost walked straight into her father.
“Where have you been, daughter?” he asked.
“I was just taking in the air in the garden, Papa,” she lied. She didn’t enjoy lying to her father, but she couldn’t have him locking her away in her room. Surely love was a reason to justify the minor sin.
His brow furrowed, assessing her. “Where is your maid? You shouldn’t be roaming the grounds alone.”
“You are quite right, Papa. I just stepped out for a few moments after I was tired of reading. I will make sure Dot goes with me next time,” she said, hoping her father wouldn’t press her any further.
“Very well. See that you do. Did that boy call here today?”
“Nick?” she asked.
Her father nodded. “And shouldn’t you refer to him as Lord Craven?” Hate spewed when her father spoke the title. “You aren’t on familiar terms.”
Eliza opted not to point out that her father should also refer to Nick by his title and not “that boy,” but she opted to leave that unsaid. “Papa, he isn’t his father and has done nothing to you. And no, he didn’t,” she replied. It wasn’t exactly a lie since he didn’t come calling to their door. “Perhaps he will come for tea tomorrow.”
“You are to depart for town with your mama in a few weeks for the season. You are certain to marry before the season ends, so there isn’t much point in the boy calling here, I should think,” he said, his lips curled into a smirk.
“Perhaps he will offer for me and save you the expense of a season, Papa,” she said, testing the waters for her father’s reaction.
If she hoped to find a hint of his thoughts on her statement, she would be disappointed. His expression remained unchanged, other than a slight squint of his eyes.
“Perhaps,” he said, “but you would have many acceptable options if you had a season.”
She patted her father’s arm. “The most important thing is that I marry someone who loves me, right, Papa?”
“And someone who is respectable and comes from an excellent family. Someone who would ensure you are provided for,” her father said, his cool expression still unchanged.
