The late addition of a lift on the outside of the building has made bringing her here possible. So many places havebecome unattainable since she was made to use her chair. It breaks my heart each time she can’t do something that used to be easy. A little more of my Bex slips away.
The bed is huge and covered in red satin sheets. There are rose petals scattered everywhere and a bottle of champagne chilling on ice.
This is perfect.
Bex sits in her chair on the balcony as the sun sets over the water. The late summer breeze warms her skin. She’s wearing a long, floaty gown in pale blue. Her wig pinned high. I creep up and surprise her with a hug, singing her favorite song close to her ear. She turns and kisses me softly.
“I love you, but you’re a terrible singer,” she teases. She rests her head against my shoulder, the breeze lifting the hem of her dress. The sea crashes below us in a steady rhythm, as if echoing the tempo of our time together. “This is perfect.”
“It’s not enough,” I whisper. “I wish I’d found a way to give you this sooner.”
“You did,” she says, her voice quiet but steady. “You gave me Liam. You gave me these years. You came back.”
I swallow hard. “I should’ve stayed.”
She turns slightly to face me, her fingers brushing mine. “Maybe, but maybe we had to break to rebuild. We’re stronger now. Wiser, even if a little more wrinkled.”
I chuckle. “Speak for yourself.”
She smiles then grows serious again. Her face pinching a little, the way it does when she’s considering her words. These conversations, the ones I don’t want to have, are becoming more regular. She wants to discuss what should happen when she’s gone.
“I’m not scared, Ben.”
“You’re not?”
“Not of dying,” she says with a sad smile. Her eyes flick over my shoulder to the view behind before returning. “I am scared of leaving you, though. Of leaving them. But I’m not scared of the end. I’ve had more time than I ever expected. I’ve loved, lost, and loved again.” I press my lips to her temple, closing my eyes. This hurts, her laying out what she’s had, what she’s grateful for, when it should have been so much more.
“I want more time,” I admit, selfishly. I’m not ready to let her go, but I know the time is getting nearer. It’s a hazard of the job.
“So do I,” she says softly. “But if this is all we get... I’m glad it was with you. I’m happy we had the time we did.”
We sit in silence as the sun dips lower, turning the sky shades of rose and fire. It disappears as night falls, bringing the day to an end once more.
“I’m going to keep making memories,” I tell her as I hold her hand. “Every day. For Liam. For Ollie. For the girls. For all of us.”
She nods slowly, but doesn’t look at me, her focus on the horizon, on the setting day. Another chapter closing.
“Just promise me one thing,” she whispers.
“Anything.”
“When I’m gone... don’t forget how to live.”
I blink fast. “I won’t.” She leans into me again, her voice almost a murmur.
“Good. Then we’ll be okay.” Her lips twist into a half-smile. “Because I’ll be watching you.” I hold her tighter, anchoring us in the present.
Because she’s right. Somehow, we’ll be okay.
But right now, I’ll hold onto her as long as I can, just to have one more moment.
***
