Jamie leans against the counter and glances at the dark window. It’s only eleven in the morning, but a blizzard is howling outside, with snow piling up along the edges of the house. “Damn. They used to love the moss. I wonder what changed.”
“It’s a new strand,” I say, reading off the report. “Maybe cross-pollination or something.”
“I can hire some teenagers to clear it with the new funds you brought in.”
“Good idea,” I say, staring at the ice crusting around the kitchen window. It’s the coldest day since I arrived. There’s nothing we can do today, so the moss will have to wait.
Jamie’s eyes flick back to me. “Guess all your work here is done.”
I don’t think he meant for it to sound cold, but my skin pebbles like I’ve been kicked out into the storm.
He is right. I handled Arrietty’s labor, stabilized the sick reindeer, and even did things he wasn’t expecting, like revamping the sanctuary’s social media presence and introducing the adoptions. But it seems tiny next to everything he’s done for me. Patience. Fun. There are so many things I wantto say to him, but listing them all would make whatever this is between us feel finished. And I’m not ready to say goodbye.
“But you’re glad I’m staying?” I say, wrapping my arms around his stomach.
“Of course,” he says, rubbing his thumb over my arm.
And I feel it all—the guilt, the pull, the impossible mixture of wanting to linger and knowing I can’t.
Chapter 19
Dashing Through the Snow, on a Reindeer-Powered Sleigh, What Fun it is to Blow, a Cowboy Daddy AYE
Eleven Days Left of Feeling Like I’m Part of a Family
We’d wrappedup work early, and with the snow finally letting up, Jamie decided it was the perfect day to see the tree he and the girls had decorated.
“Are you sure I don’t need a helmet?” I ask, eyeing the sleigh skeptically.
Jamie laughs, the sound echoing off the trees lining the back of the barn. Yesterday’s snow tumbles off the branches and onto the untouched ground. He’s in his thick Carhartt jacket, cheeks pink from the cold. Before we left the barn, he wrapped an extra jacket around me. It’s only twenty degrees, so I’m grateful for the layer. It swallows me whole, the sleeves hanging past my gloved hands, and it smells like him: coffee, hay, and yeast.
“I promise,” Jamie says, grinning as he tightens one of the harnesses on Calcifer, the lead reindeer. Four others stand waiting. Their thick chest fur blows in the wind. Tiny bells jingle across their harnesses as they shift, hooves thudding in the snow.
I reach up to scratch the back of Spoots’s ear. He huffs, tossing his head in delight, his antlers glinting in the low sun.
“But this looks bigger than a snowmobile.”
“You’ll be fine, Joy. I promise.”
The sleigh is nothing like the usual red and gold ones. One side is airbrushed like the Mystery Machine in bright blues and greens and swirls of flowers. The other side is dusted in pink glitter.
“You picked the colors, huh?” I joke.
“Stop stalling.” He takes my hand and helps me into the sleigh, and I settle on the wooden bench beside him.
Beyond the barn, the forest stretches for miles. The tall firs are capped with white, and the distant hills are brushed in gold where the afternoon light hits them.
Jamie turns, holding something behind his back. “One more thing. I got it in vegan suede.”
He reveals a brown cowboy hat—like his, but smaller, with a soft red bow tied around the band. He places it gently on my head, tilting it just right so my bangs don’t fall into my eyes.
“My own cowgirl hat,” I say, rubbing my fingers over the smooth fabric.
“Now that you’re a rural girl,” he says, clicking his tongue to the reindeer.
“I like thiswaybetter than a Santa hat.”
“Good.” He kisses me, then takes the reins in his hands, mushing them.
