She pairs a snort with a wince. Nods.
I press my hands between my knees. “Care to share?”
“Um, excuse me, buddy, but you get to go first.”
“Fair enough.”
This is my moment, yet I find my brain fumbling for the right words. I guess maybe it’s my pride only now coming to terms with how pathetic I am.
“Say something, please. I feel like such a moron.”
“You feel like a moron? How do you figure?”
Her blue-diamond eyes flare. “For heaven’s sake, Knox, I was worried you didn’t own a suit.” Her cheeks brighten to fully Christmas red.
“And you have no idea how incredibly endearing your concern was.”
This time I manage to dodge the elbow, not because it would hurt but because she’s fun to tease.
I put a few more inches between us so I can see the whole of her face. “Okay, being serious now. Here’s why I didn’t tell you: I’m the moron, not you.”
She squints. “I’m listening.”
“At first, I simply didn’t think of it. I’m not a guy who’s out to impress. I don’t lead with my wallet or my accomplishments or…whatever you want to call my status as business owner. Besides, I’m just as much a guy who drives a backhoe as one who snores through board meetings. More actually. So,notmentioning I’m one of the sons in Lawrence Herd and Sons Construction is as natural as mentioning it in the first place.”
“Okay…”
I squint into her gaze. Am I regaining ground? “Okay. So. That’s why the subject didn’t come up initially.”
“But then?”
I stroke my chin. “Well, it wasn’t until Oakley cornered me that I realized the potential significance of the oversight.”
Her hair slides across her shoulder. “Yet you still didn’t tell me then.”
“What was I supposed to say? Hey, Everly, you know I’m kind of a big deal?”
“Would have gotten the job done.”
I spread my hands. “Except I’m not a big deal. Keep up, Ev.”
A smile peeks out. “Continue, please.”
As always, her smiling mouth drives intelligent thought from my brain, so I shift my study to a curve of stitching in the comforter. “The truth is, when I opened my mouth to finally tell you…well…that’s when I realized I had a problem.”
“What problem is that?”
I’ve thought about things a lot over the last week. Wrapping words around my issue is tough, especially when feeling the need to grasp for a counterbalance to the character weakness my silence with Everly exposed. Turns out I’m a guy with a fearful, fragile ego buried beneath a mound of surface humility. The revelation has been lowering and painful.
Soft fingers cover mine. “Is this about Becca?”
I smile over, weakly. “To some degree. I gave her all of me, Everly. I was committed to a forever future with her. She was everything to me—and then I found out I wasn’t enough for her. That some of the things that made memerepulsed her.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah.” I rub my chin with my free hand. “I know what you’re probably thinking. That the junk with Becca should have made me all the quicker to make sure you knew I was somebody.” I hope she picks up on the sarcasm applied to the last word.
“It crossed my mind.”
