Mi love dem too!
She chuckles. “I really wanted to buy you something better, but ugh… Nickoi told me about you too late.”
That’s okay. It’s the thought that counts. “They’re perfect. Definitely wearing them,” I smile.
“Awww, I’m so happy you like it,” she says, and I nod, handing the phone to Nickoi.
Once they wrap up their convo, Nickoi ends the call. I get up, carry the shoes into the room, and place them next to my other pairs neatly, like they deserve a spot of their own. Then I head back out and join Nickoi in the living room. He’s locked into the game again, so I slide beside him, phone in my hand, textingZanne. Grades didn’t go up today, so it must be tomorrow. We’re both stressed about it.
Zara, member seh yuh blood pressure did low enuh.
True. But mi cyaa help it. My results drop tomorrow, and it’s major. I’m naturally anxious, worse now that I’m pregnant. After a while, I stop texting and rest my head on Nickoi’s shoulder, eyes drifting to the screen as he plays.Awww.
“Tomorrow is my final results, and mi nervous, babe,” I murmur.
He glances at me, then pauses the game completely, turning his full attention toward me. I sit up slightly, meeting his gaze. “Exam anxiety or whatever dem call it natural enuh, Mami. But try not to stress. Just shift yuh focus. We nuh want it affect the baby, so no meds that,” he says gently.
I nod, letting my head rest back on his shoulder.
***
The next morning, my results are literally the first thing on my mind. I fell asleep thinking about it, and now I’m up… same thought, same pressure. Sigh. I’m trying not to stress, but who am I kidding? I can’t turn it off.
I’m this close to graduation… and I still don’t know what I’m wearing. Another thing to stress about.
Nuh worry ‘bout dem thing deh, Zara.
Yesterday, Mommy texted me saying it don’t make sense to order online, it’ll take too long, and graduation is next week. She’s right. It nuh mek sense fi real. Now what?
Stop worry mi seh.
I spend an hour scrolling through local stores on Instagram, flipping through options and saving posts I’m not even sure I like. Eventually, I give up. I’m too indecisive for this. Maybe I’ll call Mommy later so she can help me choose. As I head down thesteps, a sharp, unbearable pain shoots through my leg, forcing me to stop. I groan, clutching my thigh as I rub it out, eyes squinting from the sting. I’m alone in the house. Nickoi left early this morning while I was still half asleep. Ithinkhe said he was going to help Miss Jane with his friend’s funeral.
That a if mi hear right… or maybe mi did just a dream? Mi not even know.
I grip the railing and make my way down the stairs slowly, each step a challenge. The pain in my leg hasn’t eased. Every day, I feel heavier. Slower. My legs don’t move the way they used to. I’ve gained so much weight lately, even my clothes are fitting tighter. Expected.
I couldn’t even get into my favorite shorts this morning, too tight around the waist. By the time I finally reach the bottom of the stairs, I’m out of breath. Can you imagine? These same stairs I used to skip down without a second thought… now have mi gasping for air.
As I round the corner, I spot Lizzie in the kitchen. “Good morning, Zara. I’m making breakfast for you. Boss told me to fix kidney and fry dumpling,” she says with a warm smile.
I smile back. “Good morning… you want me to help?” I step into the kitchen beside her, eager to feel useful.
She quickly shakes her head. “No, no.”
“I just want to be active,” I explain, remembering what the doctor said about keeping my body moving.
She gives me a soft look. “Boss said you shouldn’t do anything,” she says gently, voice tinged with concern.
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell him I wanted to be active,” I say with a smile, and Lizzie nods.
“Okay,” she says, handing me a fork. “You can monitor the dumplings. I’ll finish the kidney.” I move over to the stove, watching the pot bubble. After flipping the dumplings, I pop my prenatal vitamins.
“How you feeling?” she asks gently.
“I’m okay,” I answer with a soft smile.
She nods and returns to the stove. When we’re done cooking, I sit at the island, and she places the plate in front of me. I flash her a grateful smile, and she returns it with her own.
