“Why yuh nuh easy yourself?” his voice is low, deadly low. The bass alone lick mi straight inna mi chest.
“Mi don’t want to tell her yet,” I mumble, taking another bite of the burger.
He hisses. “Why?” his tone sharp now. “Yuh granny nuh already aguh tell har? And yuh think mi care? Right now the way mi feel, mi would a breed yuh again just fi give har a heart a—” he stops himself.
“What?” It comes out slow.
He breathes out. “She done o’ tell yuh mother.” She hasn’t. Not yet. I know her too well. She’s waiting on me to say it first, so she can attack me the way she wants. My fingers start to tremble.
“Mi know Mommy and Mama did warn mi and… mi still go do it. Mi know what this looks like. How yuh think Mommy aguh react? Mama already set the tone for disaster and mi can’t tek no more drama, Nickoi. Mi tired.” He reaches for my hand like none of what I say matters.
“Yuh done?”
“Nickoiii”I whine, it’s soft. He already takes control of the room. He pulls me to my feet, slow and firm.
The man nah ask you again enuh lady.
“Mi hear yuh. But all that fretting nah change wah already happ’n. You a mine. And the youth inside yuh a mine too. If she can’t deal with it, she take that up to the big man.”
I try to shake my head. “No. Mi nuh ready yet…”
He hisses again. “When? When yuh aguh be ready? Mi tired fi wait pon yuh fi gather some bravery. Mi wah lif’ up from yasso. But yuh affi deh a man foot, so make it quick,” I follow his eyes to my suitcase.
Yuh hear that lady? Make it quick!
The weirdest feeling coils in my stomach. “Nickoi… Just wait it out a few. Then we talk to Mommy.”
He nods slowly. “Alright,” he says, backing off just enough. “Mi nah guh say a word until you say so.”
I breathe, finally.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
I walk away, but I feel his hand again tugging me back gently. He looks down at me, his dark eyes unreadable. A small smirk pulls at his mouth. “Still aguh tell dem brawlin’. Cause wah dem aguh do? Touch yuh? Mi dare dem.”
My heart skips. That dark stare of his burns against my skin.
“Nickoi, why yuh nuh listen?” I sigh. His eyes narrow, and the air in the room shifts.
“Fawud.” That’s all he says.
Cold.
Flat.
Final.
Even if I had any fight left in me, the look in his eyes tells me: ‘don’t try it.’ I give up, like always. Mi nuh know how much time mi aguh seh it, but mi can never win when it come to Nickoi. By the time we reach the living room, mi feel worse. Mama’s already in attack mode. She doesn’t even have to speak, it’s in her eyes, her posture.
Dadadeee… Daddadaa…
Nickoi looks straight at them and just like that, Mommy smiles again.
She looks at us. “What’s up?” My head spins. I feel flushed, dizzy. The more I stay in the living room, the hotter and more anxious I get.Jesus.
Nickoi straightens. “Mi have sup’m fi mek unuh know.” His deep voice fills the space. He glances at me, then fixes on them.
Gavin smiles at me, understanding. Mama crosses her arms, then she speaks. “Pause di TV deh,” she commands, and Gavin reaches for the remote. The screen goes dark.
