So mi do what mi have to do.
I raise the gun and shoot the knob. The door flings open, my brows pull together, and my whole body stills. What I see behind this door, is something I never saw coming in my whole life.
48
Mood
This can’t be real. My grip tightens around the gun, knuckles white as I stare them down, my mother and Orion. Naked. Together. Forget the uncle title. “WAH THIS!?” I growl, voice rough like gravel in my throat. My jaw clenches. This better be some sick dream. Zara’s gonna shake me any second, kiss mi and whisper, ‘It’s okay.’
But I blink.
They’re still there. Sheet pulled to her chest, Mommy stares at me with guilty eyes. Orion looks like he wants to vanish. How she fi sleep wid mi father bredda? I know they’re not blood, but still, a mi uncle dat. That’s family.
“Weh the respect deh fi mi father? Fi me? Fi Junior, Janel, Jordane?” I shout, chest heaving.
Orion bows his head. My mother winces. “Nickoi, put down the gun,” she says softly. She think mi really a go shoot them?
“Mi a nuh betrayer,” I spit. The word burns because she is.
“Mi know yuh a go say this but, mi love Owayne,” she murmurs. I snort. She? Love?
“Yow, doh talk to me,” I cut in coldly when Orion tries to speak. He stays silent. Dat him betta do. I can’t look at him, much less hear him.
“A mi uncle, Mommy,” I shout, hands shaking. “Yuh really a deal wid mi uncle?”
She fidgets, teary. “Nickoi, just… listen. Let me explain—”
I laugh, sharp and humorless. “Mi cyaa believe this dawg.”
“How long?” I ask, voice lower now but more dangerous. She covers her face, crying. Orion finally gets up.
“Mi did respect you, yuh know,” I tell him quietly. I could hurt him, gun still in my hand but I don’t have it in me. Not for him. Not now.
“I know,” he says. “You have every right to hate me. But this… this started long before you were born. Nicki was mine first. Owayne… he took her. I let that go. Years pass, mi feelings gone… or so mi thought. But we were alone. Shit happen. It nuh right, but… it happen.” He’s trying. He’s ashamed.
“And mi shouldn’t even be near her. But sometimes when you see someone you once loved, the feelings… they creep back in. I’m sorry, Nickoi.” I inhale sharply.
“Mi understand,” I say, even if I don’t fully. “Mi just need a drink and bout hundred spliff.”
Mommy finally speaks through tears. “Mi sorry. It was a mistake.”
I nod slowly. “Mi nuh hate yuh, Mommy. But mi hurt and right now… mi cya look pon yuh.”
Orion exhales. “I’ll stay away. This ends here.”
“Yea man, it done right yah so,” I reply. “Weh the babies deh?”
“M-Ms. Cherry have dem,” she says. I leave without another word.
***
Popcaan Friends Like These blasts through the speakers as I drive to Beverly Hills. I spot Zara’s white Benz and smirk. She really let mi catch har up? She pulls in first. I follow, honking at the gate. She steps out laughing, lifting the twins from the back seat.
“So yuh drive slow?” I tease, trying to shake off the sting of earlier. She smiles, walks inside, and I trail behind with shopping bags. I drop into the sofa and stare blankly at the screen. I don’t even know what’s playing. Zara plops beside me, wraps herself around my arm. Her presence softens me, just a little.
“Babe, yuh look… sad,” she says gently.
“Mi good man. Just tired.”
