“Continue, Nickoi.”
He looks at me. “But lately… mi start feel that same peace even when mi nuh deh here.” I blink, heart full.
“What else give you that peace?”
“It’s not a place,” he says. “It’s a person.”
I already know.
Still, hearing it softens my chest. “Mi inna the room with you… and even if mi think bout mi father, your presence alone mek mi feel that same peace. So mi bring yuh here fi show yuh what yuh mean to me. You think yuh nuh give me nutt’n, but Zara, you give me everything.” Tears prick my eyes.
“You a mi escape,” he says gently. I reach up to kiss him, arms wrapping around his waist, lips soft, deep, real.You’re his peace. You’re his escape. Damn…
46
Orders
I lean back in the driver’s seat, Henny bottle on the floor, smoke curling up from my lips, rap spilling through the speakers loud enough to shake the windows. My brows pulled together. Rick said he’d ‘just drop off something’ inna the salon, but mi know wah dat mean. Long talking. Sweet talk some gyal. Mi give him time… then more time… but the dawg still nah fawud.
I fling the car door and step out, slamming it behind me hard enough to rattle the rearview. The second I walk in the salon, the heat slaps me, flat iron and coconut oil in the air, the place sounding like a market. I spot Rick grinning wid a makeup girl. Like a him catty dat.
“Dawg yuh nuh ready?” I snap, jaw tight.
“Mi a move now,” he says with a chuckle. The women are entertained. Fi him style dat… always good with the ladies. I hold the door, waiting, stone face. Him still deh pan the flirting. “What time mi fi come fi yuh, Lee?” he asks the Makeup girl.
I lean against the wall, silent. When him finally drag himself out, I walk straight back to the car and pull off, mi nuh say a word.
“Weh yuh say? Yaw touch pan the lane later?” he asks, like him nuh just waste mi time.
“Ah, yuh will see mi,” I mutter, weaving through Kingston traffic. I drop him off, then run my errands, link mi lawyer, pass through mi aunt fi some steam fish. Just as mi a step out the shop, my phone buzz.
Zara.
My lips curl slightly. “Mami.” She seem tired.
“Yuh frustrated, Mami?” I ask, swerving from a wild taxi driver. Like every mad man out todeh.
“Yes… and mi tired too. Mi want a good sleep,” she sighs.
“Mi soon fawud. Mi a come massage you… mek yuh feel better,” I smirk.
She laughs, and I swear I feel it deep in my big toe. She calms my spirit. Then a black Mark X fly cross my path and nearly sideswipe a JUTC bus. I mash my brake hard. The Hennessy spills from my cup.
“Yow!” I bark, already winding down my window. “Yaw fool?”
The man glance back and shout. “Suck yuh madda!” My whole body still, but mi heart a race.
“Mi nuh fraid a nuh man enuh!” him bark from him car.
“A dead yuh wah dead?” I ask him, and him still a gwaan like him bad. Clearly, him nah come from yah so. Couldn’t be. Not if him comfortable a tell gunman bout dem madda. “Mi nuh fraid a nuh man enuh!”
“Nickoi… can you avoid this please?” My gaze meet hers and mi let out a deep sigh. She calms me… a little. But every word weh dis fool let out stir up mi rage like wildfire.
“Every man can seh wah dem want enuh,” mi say steady, but mi blood a boil.
Most a the duppy dem weh mi mek, did ‘try’ fi bad me up too. And look weh dem deh now.
“And every man feel seh dem a bad man cause dem a walk wid gun and a see gun… but just know seh some man role different, yuh zimi.” My voice calm. Too calm. When mi get calm, a trouble. My mind starts wandering…
