“Yeah, fix it up.”
Karlisa still standing there like she’s waiting for me to invite her into something. “Good thing mi come. Never know mi woulda buck up inna mi one-time man,” she smiles. I look at her deadpan. She really want drag up what we had huh?
Gutta walks up from the seaside with Anna. “Yuh a move soon?”
“After mi get the next box.”
“We deh a the car,” Gutta says, heading back with Anna. I glance at Karlisa, then shift my eyes to Dani behind the counter. Watching him prepare food is easier than dealing with her. Everything about her presence pulls me back to a version of myself I’ve outgrown. Back when I had outstanding traffic violations, a gun under the seat, and too much pride to comply. The police bwoy who stopped me that night was aggressive. Already decided I was guilty and when the search threat came, I knew I couldn’t let it happen. Then Karlisa stepped in, asking for 20 grand like I was made of money because of the car I drove. But she didn’t really want the cash. She wanted leverage. She wanted me. And I gave in. Girls are drugs.
“Mi see yuh friend last night… Lennox,” she says. “Him deh pon the corner. Seeing him, make mi think ‘bout yuh.” I say nothing.
“Congrats,” she adds. “Saw the ring she posted.” Still, I say nothing.Zara need fi private that shit.
“If yuh ever need a favor… mi deh yah.” She smiles. I remember the file she slipped me from the station, the favor that led to a late-night link-up. The kind of help that always came with expectations. I exhale. “Maybe we can meet up after?” she pushes.
“Look how long dat. Yuh feel mi woulda diss mi woman fi you?” She laughs like I’m being dramatic.
“Mi know yuh have yuhwife, and yuh probably loyal now, but come on, Nickoi. People know how yuh stay. If yuh ever want… the usual, just say the word.” I stack the next box on the other and walk off. At the car, Gutta leans on the bonnet. Anna’s already in the back seat.
“Everything good?”
“Mi nuh trust Karlisa,” I say, leaning beside him.
“Wah she do?”
“She a talk ‘bout when we used to link, then drop in favors like she still matter. A nuh what she say… it’s how she say it.”
“Intuition never wrong,” he says.
“She even mention Lennox… like she know something, or want mi fi think she do.” I breathe out, heavy.
“All the careless shit mi used to do… feel like it a haunt mi. Like mi past cut up say man a move correct now.”
When man inna me dawg phase ain’t shit went wrong.
“Wi affi watch har,” Gutta says, eyes scanning the spot.
“True. But mi nah entertain har,” I say, sliding into the car. She’s not a problem—yet. She doesn’t believe I’ve changed, but when she realizes I’m not biting? That’s when she’ll bite back.
37
Search
We’re watching Riverside.Riverside, Nick? Yuh sure a that the thing name? I
don’t know. I’m not even trying. I’m watching her, not the TV. Crazy how she asked for a movie night, and end up being the movie. I’m barely paying attention to the screen. It’s her laugh I’m locked in with. My shirt hanging loosely around her, her head resting on my chest. Her arms around me feel better than anything this show could offer.
“This funny!” she bursts out laughing, and I smile without even realizing.
“People wicked enuh, you see that babe?” she asks, pointing. I glance up. Some old man hugging his wife. Nothing wild. She rewinds it, then I catch the scene—some nigga drowned and the blonde said some foul shit. That’s it?
She catches my unimpressed face and cuts her eyes at me. “Babe, stop,” she whines through her laughter. I grin a little.
“Mi love you enuh,” I say, cutting through her teasing. She pauses. Smiles soft. I meant it. Maybe I said it to shut her up, but still… I meant it. Been thinking it for the last hour. This girl changed me. Still Nickoi, but she shifted something no other woman ever could.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks, half smiling.
“Yuh done know mi love yuh enuh, Zara… but mi a realize say mi really, really love you.” She laughs, like maybe she don’t believe I’m serious.
