“Hold mi hand please,” I cry as the doctor tells me to push. I scream and push, grabbing the edge of the bed like it could save me. This pain is relentless. You can’t ignore it. You can’t breathe through it. It owns your body.You a go be okay Zara. Ughhhhhhh!I hope. Just when I think I’m tapped out, two more doctors rush in. My anxiety spikes, until I hear a familiar voice. Doctor Jacobs.
She suits up in seconds, ready to work. “We’re gonna get these twins out now,” she says, eyes locked on mine. Another ten minutes in hell pass before the first baby finally comes out. I heave a breath so deep it feel like it come from mi soul.Wheww!
What a relief.“The last twin should be easier,” one of the doctors says, and I lie there trying to catch my breath.
“You’re doing great, Zara,” Doctor Jacobs encourages.
“That was the boy,” the nurse says, and even in the middle of all this pain, I find myself smiling. Nickoi’s still beside me, rubbing my hand gently.
“Mi G… you a do good enuh. Just one more to go,” he says, voice calm and steady. So sweet. So present. I pull him close and kiss him. A genuine, thank you for not leaving my side type kiss. The pain dips for a moment.
“Thank you, God,” I whisper.
“Ready again,” one of them says. Lawdddd. No break? And mi have one more baby weh need fi come out? Remind me fi nuh breed again!Yuh nuh have no reason to, my subconscious says. I roll my neck, stretch my fingers, and follow the doctor’scommands. I push again, through pain that feel like my body is ripping apart. The screams return, tears blur my vision, and then—
It’s over. Our second baby is here. The room is now filled with their cries. The sound feels like music to my ears. Soft and loud at the same time. I did it. Nickoi is typing the time on his phone, my son is 10 minutes older. He smirks then as soon as he hears both babies crying, he puts it down and leans in, pulling me into his arms. He kisses my lips. Slow, deep, like he respects every breath I took just now.
“You do it enuh… Mami… proud a yuh, yuh strong bad,” he whispers, then he hugs me and whisper in my ear. “Thank you.” I smile faintly, heart full.
***
I open my eyes to the warm light peeking through the hospital blinds.
Morning finally light out. But what really catch me is the view beside my bed.
The twins are laying peacefully in their clear glass bassinets, each one wrapped in their blankets with little designer hats. Above them floats a bunch of helium balloons, a mix of silver, blush pink and royal blue, tied with silky ribbons and little cards that say“Welcome Royalty.” Boujie bad.
I smile.
The bassinets have some lil gold tags with their names handwritten on them. Zahir and Zahira. Zahira’s earlobes catch the light, tiny gold studs glisten in her ears. Waittt… Nickoi got their ear pierced already? I smile at my cuties. A delicate bracelet rests on their wrist with a tiny charm: an infinity symbol, same like my tattoo. I love the detailllllls.Nickoi a hot bwoy eno. Win dad!
I’m dragged from that soft moment when I hear Gavin’s voice. “Bwoy dem baby yah nice no blow wow!”
“Yuh extra yuh see,” I laugh, turning my head, and just like that, they start talking over each other. Some say congratulations, others sharing corny jokes, but it’s all love.
“Yuh have strength now?” Mommy asks with a chuckle, standing beside Mama, who’s already deep in admiration
“Yes,” I nod, a small tired smile on my face. Mama beams, her eyes soft as she stares at the babies swaddled beside me.
“They’re beautiful… and that boy is a mixture of both you and that red kin’ bwoy.” I laugh.Awww.
“Who the girl favor?” I ask, trying to sit up more so I can see her better. My babies. My little creation. My eyes linger on my baby boy, he has this lil pout that’s already giving personality. I don’t see myself, I see an uncanny resemblance of his dad. Damnnn. I chuckle, lightly brushing his tiny hand.
“What’s your problem, Zahir?” I whisper, smiling. Awww.
“Watch nice baby name,” Sash says.
“The girl look like Nick and him high color family enuh,” Mama adds, smiling proudly. Doctor Jacobs chuckles at that, she has caramel skin too, and she’s his aunt, so it tracks.But one thing enuh, Zara lef Mama fi do these things. Old people know everything, especially ‘bout babies.
“Look pan the dolly baby dem,” Sash coos, leaning over the sleek glass bassinet. Zahira rest tiny and perfect, wrapped in a soft rose-pink blanket. The other bassinet, holding Zahir, has blue satin ribbons and a mini “Welcome Prince” balloon tied to it.
“My twinzies,” I whisper, a full smile tugging at my lips. Now that I’m looking at them—my babies—I accept the pain. Every scream. Every tear. It was worth it.
Look at them, too damn gorgeous. That night at Zanne’s house? Me and their dad had way too much fun… he almostfelttoo good in me. It’s unreal. I’mma always remember just how good it felt when we made them.
“Wah dem full name?” Gavin asks.
“Zahir Nickoli Jacobs and Zahira Niyah Jacobs,” I say proudly. Everyone in the room lets out a collective “awww.”My time dat fi say “awww” too.
