“A wah girl!” Gavin squeals, jumping in joy.Girl! Yes, thank you God!
“A wah granddaughter mi get?!” Mommy screams and Mama nods proudly.
“God is good!” Mama smiles, tears bright in her eyes. I smile, tears prickling at the corners, fighting to hold them back but failing. I watch as Nickoi steps out of the car, that smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth, eyes locked on the fading pink smoke curling softly in the air. I run to him, arms wrapping around his waist, my lips finding his in a kiss full of everything, hope, love, relief. I stand on my tiptoes, hands tracing his face, staring deep into his eyes as I pull away.
“It’s a girl, Nickoi,” I whisper, and a tear slips free down my cheek.
26
Go Now
Zanne stands in the mirror, moving her hips with a grin, half-singing as she repeats the same line she’s been practicing for what feels like forever. Her reflection throws back pure joy as she finally nails the dance routine. Wah do dis TikTocka yah? I glance at her, laughing.
“Yuh ketch it now?”
She nods and I return my gaze to the phone in my hand. I’m on video call with Nickoi, he’s atSicka’svideo shoot, surrounded by his boys.
Man have big links, yuh nuh see?my subconscious chimes in, full of energy. She always in my head with the hype.
“Zara, come try the dance nuh,” Suzanne calls, still trying to pull me in.
She’s been dancing since she reached, after I left school, she linked up with me, threw off her shoes, and claimed my mirror like it’s a stage. Apparently… Suzanne’s a dancer now. Me neverknow. I chuckle, then look back down at my screen. Nickoi puffs slow on his spliff, eyes low, not red, just… heavy. There’s a sleepy calm to him when he’s high. He takes a swig of Hennessy, lips curling into that smirk that always makes my chest flutter.
“Mi wah see yuh do the dance too, Mami,” he says, voice syrupy-smooth. I burst out laughing.
Suzanne claps. “Yes, girl! Come dance with me!” Wrong smaddy!*In Aunty Shibby voice.*I’m cracking up now, between her persistence and my smart-mouth subconscious, mi cyaa’ manage.
“Mi legs dem a hurt me so… no way!” I say, shaking my head. Suzanne laughs, clearly not buying it.Hear the excuse,my subconscious scoffs. She wah mi dance too, enuh. Nickoi leans closer to the camera.
“Yuh a feel pain fi real?” he asks, concern softening his voice.Awww.
I nod slowly. “Yeah… but it nuh that bad,” I reply, still watching him. I study his face longer than I probably should. Is he high? Or drunk now too? Him good at holding his own, yeah, but still, if he drinking and puffing like this, who’s driving? How mi supposed to know him safe? “Nickoi… why you a guh so hard?” I ask.Silence.“Eeeh?” I press again.
“Go hard with what, Mami?” he replies, playing innocent. I sigh and facepalm.
“If yuh drunk… who a go drive you?”
He chuckles. “Mi nah go drunk, man.” He sinks into a chair like he got all the time in the world. I stare at the screen, straight-faced. I’m worried.
“How yuh suh sure?” I ask, flashbacking to how messy things got on my birthday.
“Know mi limit,” he shrugs.And obviously, yuh don’t!my subconscious claps back.Nickoi different. Him a nuh rookie likeyou, ma’am. You better avoid liquor fi the rest a yuh life!Why she always affi deal wid me so harsh? Jeez.
“Okay,” I say eventually, and he nods. We talk another ten minutes before he tells me he has to go. The call ends, and I settle into the couch beside Suzanne with a big bowl of popcorn. We put onDeadly Illusions,a movie that’s already feeling too intense. Jeez. Then just as the tension builds. Boom. Darkness. What the hell!?
“Mi nuh like this enuh,” I grumble, jumping off the couch.
“Me neither. Mi fraid a darkness enuh,” Suzanne says. Her phone flashlight barely lights up her face, but it’s enough to show that she’s just as uneasy as me. I reach for the door. Suzanne’s breath is close behind me.
“Weh yuh a go?” she asks, flicking on her flashlight.
“Mi a go see if Joe can flip the breaker,” I say, already pulling the door.
“Mi a come wid yuh,” she says quickly, and we head toward the security building.
“Joe?” I call out.Nothing.
“What the—?” Suzanne gasps.
