“I had a baby for you a-and I aborted it because I was too scared to let you know because you hated babies but now yuh breed she a-and you a support her in a every way and mek mi get rid of mine,” she cries.
Juaqína abort the baby? Like deh gyal yah wah be the first ooman mi kill. “Me mek yuh abort the baby?!” I shout.
“Yes you never would accept it!” She argues back.
The bouncer grabs her, she starts doing the most. “Yow shut up,” I warn, and she grows silent.
“Lesley let me go,” she tries to fight the bouncer.
I step closer to her, my face inches away from her. Venom laced in my voice, “Mi nuh wah fi ever see yuh back yasso. Yuh see that weh yuh just tell me will never leave me enuh Juaqína,me nuh know if a lie or wah but just doh come around me nor the underground. If yuh wah chat anything confidential do yuh thing but just member say a death before dishonor. So if yuh wah live, it up to you.”
“Nick don’t do me this,” her lips trembling.
I look at Lesley.
“Ensure seh she leave,” is the last thing I say before I get back inside.
The party is going on fine. Give thanks nobody nuh realize what was going on. My mood is wrecked though because I just lost one of my best workers and found out that she possibly duppy wi youth. Anuh like mi would a love fi hear a news like that but Jah know mi would a be there fi the youth.
Swear mi cut up.
I build a spliff and sip on Henny, seated in the darkest corner of the club, now puffing slow, mind spiraling.
“This really is a Outlaw party,” I chug the Hennessy again, glaring at the wall.
25
Burnout
Two months have passed since the party, and a lot has changed, some for the better, but mostly for the worse. Sigh. You’re probably wondering what happened to me, so let me fill you in.
This second trimester has dragged me straight through hell and back. If it weren’t for Nickoi, I’m not even sure I’d still be sane. Back pain, constant dizziness, swollen feet, headaches.Ugh.You name it, I’ve felt it. The only upside is that I’ve been working, and ever since I joined the gym, I’ve been getting out of the house more. I’m twenty weeks pregnant now, halfway through and my anxiety is through the roof. Especially at night, when I’m stuck alone in my head. I know it’s not good for the baby, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before but honestly, I can’t help it.
“Miss, mi cya bother enuh. A how much time you a go say it need fi fix?” a student groans. I exhale sharply, biting down the frustration.
Lawd, how her head so hard?my inner voice complains.
I’ve been helping them with their SBAs all morning. The room is mostly quiet except for her. This one girl? She’s been calling me every five minutes like I’m her personal ghostwriter. At this point, it honestly feels like she wants me to do the whole thing for her. I’ve explained the reflection part so many times I could teach it in my sleep, and she’s still asking the same exact questions like we didn’t just go over it five minutes ago.
Look, I don’t mind helping. It’s literally my job. But I do have a problem when a student keeps asking and clearly isn’t trying. That’s not help. That’s hand-holding. She’s not looking guidance, she’s looking to be spoon-fed. And I’m not the one.
“Miss, every time yuh find sup’m new fi say wrong with the SBA,” she says, full of attitude.
I glance at her laptop screen. This girl hasn’t done a damn thing. Or maybe mi blind. But mi doubt it. “Sabrina, I don’t see any changes,” I tell her, eyes still on the screen.
I go through the reflection requirements again, even pull up a sample to help. She starts mumbling under her breath. Then she hisses, loud. I look at her. “Excuse me?” My brow lifts.
Mi deh ya a try help the girl, and she a get feisty?Lef har!She walks off, muttering, “That’s why mi nuh like young teacher enuh.”
I straighten up in my seat. “Nobody not forcing you, enuh. It’s your work.”
“Yuh feel you can diss mi teacher?” Jordane jumps in. His tone sharp.
She hisses again. “Yuh chat too much enuh.” She drops into her chair, slumping like I just stress out her whole bloodline.
Another girl near her mumbles something, and Sabrina snaps, loud.Sassy. Okay then, Miss Attitude.“Yuh nuh see a you a the problem?” the other girl claps back, clearly fed up.“Everybody inna the class understand wah fi do except you. An’ look how much time miss explain!”
Then she flips around like she done with the argument. Sabrina sucks her teeth. “A yuh man you a defend?”
