“Yes, Father,” Rory said. “I feel like my love for him might be more than that of a friendship. It’s that of…” Sweat covered Rory’s palms. His breathing was shallow, and he gasped for air. “Father, I don’t want to go to hell for the feelings I have. But I’ve had these feelings for more than the last few days. I care about my friend in a deeper way than I should. I placed my hand on his hand at the movie and it felt right. I wanted to kiss him. I don’t know what to do.”
“It will be okay, my son. Do you have these thoughts when he’s not near you?”
Rory hesitated. The confessional was a safe place, and the priest wouldn’t share what he said. He needed to be honest.
“Yes, they’re not as strong, but they are there. I’ve had similar thoughts about other men, but it’s stronger with my friend. I’ve never had these thoughts about women. Why would God give me these feelings if they were wrong?”
“We cannot question the decisions of God, my son. It is a way of testing you, as we all face our own tests.”
This was a big test. God gave him no desire to be with women, which he should have. Why would God give him such a difficult test? One that would destroy friendships and his life, no matter which choice he made.
“Thank you, Father. I am sorry for all my sins.”
“That is good, my son. Now, ask God for forgiveness.”
“My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy.”
“Good. Now for your penance. The only way to rid yourself of these thoughts and feelings is to distance yourself from the source of the sins. You shall remove yourself from the company of your friend until a time comes when you can sit with him without lust in your heart.”
Rory gaped at the screen. “But Father–”
The priest interrupted him. “This is the will of God. If you are truly remorseful for your sins, you will do what is required in order to heal.”
“Yes, Father.” With those last words, Rory made the sign of the cross again and left the confessional.
*
RORY TOOK Aseat at his parents’ elaborate dinner table. Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins sat at one end, while his parents sat at the other. Duncan, Catherine, and Penelope sat across from Rory and Missy.
Rory’s mother served lamb chops with spiced potatoes, green beans, and wine.
“Rory just finished his master’s degree in electrical engineering this year,” his mother announced. “We’re so proud of what he has accomplished.”
“That’s wonderful,” Mrs. Jenkins said.
“That is quite the accomplishment,” Mr. Jenkins said.
“Thank you,” Rory said.
“And what do you do with that sort of degree?” Missy asked, batting her eyes at him.
“Dr. Sanchez offered me a position at San Jose State in the engineering department,” Rory said. “He wants me to teach lower division courses for undergraduates in electrical engineering.”
“How fascinating,” Missy said.
“That’s amazing, son, I’m proud of you,” his father said.
“Thank you, Father.”
“So, now that you have your degree out of the way and a career on the horizon, you should start thinking about settling down,” his mother said.
“Maeve, please leave him alone about dating,” his father said.
“I just want him to be happy,” she retorted.
“We have company. I don’t think this is the time or place to discuss our son’s dating habits,” his father snapped.
Rory was taken aback. His father, who always stayed calm and collected, just raised his voice to his mother.
