“You’re out of his league anyway,” Nicolas said.
“What?” Rory laughed.
“I mean, if you were interested in men, you could do better than some wannabe like him.”
“I agree,” Davi said. “You’re a bright, sweet, wonderful man. You need someone who isn’t as two-dimensional as a guy who literally asks someone to go home with them without even knowing their name.”
“It was kinda gross to watch,” Nicolas admitted.
“I’ve never had anyone flirt with me before,” Rory said. “I didn’t know how to respond.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t call what he was doing flirting,” Nicolas said. “He was trying to get into your pants.”
“Isn’t that a type of flirting?” Rory asked.
“I mean, it can be,” Jeff said. “But not if you’re interested in something more than a one-night stand.”
“What do I look for?”
Rory’s isolated existence under his parents showed. His colleagues showed support. They didn’t judge him on his lack of knowledge in social situations. They were teaching him. His body warmed. He had friends.
“Little things,” Sophia said. “A light touch, a smile at the right moment. You’ll know when it happens.”
“Thanks,” Rory said.
Had anyone ever flirted with him? A few young ladies from church giggled at his jokes. One brushed his arm. Were they flirting with him? Bernard came to mind. He and Bernard had been friends for years. Did Bernard flirt with him? Bernard was gay, but he wasn’t interested in Rory. Bernard couldn’t be interested in him. He liked guys that were… He stopped. Jason was larger than Bernard and Rory. He had short hair and a beard.Just a coincidence.What about Tracy? He was similar to Jason in size and build. They both had similar builds to him and Bernard. Bernard had used a word a few times to describe the men he was attracted to. Bears. Was he a bear? Would Bernard be attracted to him as well?
“I saw Dr. Sanchez leave the staff room right before you,” Sophia said. “Did you talk to him?”
Rory came back to the present.
“Um, he wants to interview me on Monday for an adjunct professor position.”
“What? That’s amazing,” Sophia said.
“Congratulations, man,” Nicolas said.
“You’ll do great,” Jeff said.
“Thanks, I’m a little nervous though.”
“It’ll be great.” Nicolas held up his glass. “To Rory.”
Everyone cheered for Rory. Rory’s face warmed at the attention. His friends cheered for his success. He’d never had many friends outside the church aside from a few in his high school group. His parents didn’t know he spent time with anyone other than members of the church.
They finished up their drinks and said their goodbyes.
*
THAT NIGHT RORYlay in bed. His friends—yes, he could call them that now—thought he deserved love. They treated him with kindness and respect. They hoped for his success in everything he did. He wanted love. Could he have feelings for Bernard? No, he couldn’t, because he couldn’t be gay.
Why couldn’t I be? My religion says so, but Bernard’s gay. I love him, and I don’t condemn him for it. Why am I condemning myself for these feelings? How do I know what is real and what is just sinful lust?
Chapter Nine
Bernard
Friday, April 24
