“You want to swallow?”
“Fuck yeah, I do.”
Bernard returned his cock to his mouth. He stroked as he sucked.
Bernard’s saliva lubed his cock. The strokes became long and even. Bernard’s mouth played with his foreskin. Rory’s balls tightened. His load would soon fill Bernard’s waiting mouth. The anticipation caused the hairs on his arm to stand up.
You are disgusting,came a voice in his head,you let some pervert do this to you? Touch you like this. What a disgusting pig you’ve become. You’re a disgrace. Hell has a special place for someone like you.
“Wait,” Rory said.
Bernard lifted his head. “Did I hurt you?”
“No, I just…” Rory’s throat closed up. Tears welled in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“I…I can’t do this right now.” Rory pulled up his underwear and pants. “I’m sorry.” He stood and fastened his pants.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Bernard pulled him into an embrace.
He moved away. He couldn’t stand to be touched right now. Contradicting thoughts raced through his head.
“Rory, it’s okay,” Bernard said. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yes, I did,” he choked. “We were going to finally…then I had to question what I was doing. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Rory hated himself. He’d gotten past his fear, and it overwhelmed him again. The church destroyed him.
“Rory.” Bernard pulled him back into a tight embrace. “I know exactly what you’re going through. I went through it too. I won’t push you into anything you don’t want to do.”
“But…” Rory coughed. “What if I’m never ready? You don’t want to be with someone who can’t be intimate with you. Someone who can’t please you.”
Bernard pulled away and looked him in the eye. Bernard’s beautiful brown eyes shone with compassion. This man would do anything to make him happy.
“I don’t believe you’ll never be ready,” Bernard said, “and I don’t care how long it takes for you to be ready. I want to be with you, not just for sex. If you never feel comfortable having sex with me, we’ll work something out. We’ll find a way to be together. Even if that means we watch each other jack off and that’s it.”
Rory couldn’t help but giggle. “You’d be satisfied with just watching me jack off?” he said.
“You’re hot. I’d be happy if you lay on the bed naked and let me jack off just looking at you.”
“You’re so wonderful.” Rory leaned in and wrapped his arms around Bernard.
He doubted himself, and Bernard stayed with him. Bernard meant every word. He was happy with Bernard, and one day he’d be able to give him what he deserved.
“I’m not going to push you into anything you’re not ready for,” Bernard said. “I won’t lose you over something silly. You have to go at your own pace and don’t let anyone, not even me, push you faster than you’re ready to go.”
Bernard held him in his arms as they finished the movie. His warm embrace eased the tension in his mind. He was right to trust Bernard. He’d never hurt him or push him.
*
HIS COCK HARDENEDas he showered. He jerked off. The memory of Bernard sucking his dick made it easy to come.
“I’m sorry about earlier.” Rory lay down with his back to Bernard.
“You have no reason to be sorry.” Bernard wrapped his arm around Rory. “My first time was much worse.”
“What happened?”
