Tevin went to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Henry will understand when he sees that missive,” he assured him. “Do not lose faith, Val; that missive proves that you were unknowingly pulled into something you believed Henry wanted.”
It was difficult for Val to have faith at the moment. He felt like a piece of fragile ice that had just been smashed into a thousand pieces, leaving remnants of what he once was. He wondered if he could ever pull himself back together again.
His professional life was ruined.
“Please… do not tell my mother,” he finally muttered. “I would not have her know what has happened. It will only destroy her and will serve no purpose in the long run. We will simply tell her that we are going to see the king.”
Tevin nodded. “We will do whatever you feel is best.”
Val’s mind was off in a thousand different directions, just like those smashed pieces of what he once was. He smiled thinly.
“Oddly enough, I do not want my mother to lose faith in me,” he said. “I know it sounds strange, but she has always been very proud of me. I could lose that if she knew what has really happened. That I have been made a fool of.”
Tevin was feeling deeply sorry for his friend. “She loves you,” he said. “She would never lose faith in you, but I understand. She will not hear this from my lips.”
Val simply nodded, feeling emptier inside than he’d ever felt in his life. There was a big, gaping hole where his heart and soul had once been, indicative of the depth of the betrayal he felt. But upon thoughts of treachery, and his mother’s admiration, something more heady came to mind. Thoughts that had been his constant companion for weeks now, so much so that he couldn’t even remember when they hadn’t occupied nearly every waking hour.
Vesper….
She was waiting for him to send her the necklace he’d purchased for her, a symbol of a future between them… or not. Could he even send that to her now when his entire life was verging on destruction? Was it fair to her to pull her into this maelstrom he found himself in the middle of? With increasing sorrow, he knew what the answer was.
He could not.
“There is also another young woman whose respect means a great deal to me,” he said quietly. “I had hoped… I suppose it does not matter what I had hoped. I must clear my name before I can even think of her.”
Tevin looked at him with some interest. “I was not aware that you had a young lady,” he said. “Your mother acted as if you did not.”
Val lifted his eyebrows in resignation. “She does not approve of her, I think.”
“Who is it?”
Val considered telling him but ultimately decided not to. Perhaps it was the best thing he could do, keep Vesper removed from what was happening to him. He didn’t want her name associated with his right now. He waved Tevin off.
“It does not matter,” he said, quickly changing the subject. “There are other men who know of the missive, who went with me to Canterbury to arrest the archbishop. I should tell them what has happened so they understand. They were part of this, too.”
Tevin squeezed his shoulder, respecting his wishes when it came to not revealing a young woman he was evidently fond of. “Your men should accompany us to Winchester to give their accounts to Henry of what they saw,” he said. “That can only work in your favor.”
Val took a deep breath, struggling to pull himself together. “Then I shall find Calum and Kenan and inform them of our plans for going to Winchester,” he said, his tone dull with sorrow. “But it is growing dark now. Would it be acceptable if we left before dawn?”
Tevin gave him a final pat on the shoulder and released him. “Not only acceptable but preferable,” he said. “I am famished, so a good meal and a warm bed would be most welcome. I am an old man, Val; I need my rest.”
Val glanced at Tevin; even at his advanced age, he was still powerfully built. He smiled weakly. “You are not so old that you could not fight men half your age and still win,” he said. “I will not fall victim to your pleas of old age.”
Tevin grinned. “You flatter me.”
“I speak the truth.”
Tevin gave him one last pat on the back and handed over the vellum he still held. “Speaking of truth, I would not let that out of your sight,” he said, indicating the vellum that Val was still holding. “Let us go now and speak to the men who accompanied you to Canterbury. We must tell them what has happened. I would also like to hear what they have to say about it.”
“Gladly.”
With that, Val and Tevin quit Val’s solar and headed out into the deepening night where the smells of the evening meal were heavy upon the cold air.
All the while, however, Val was entrenched in perhaps the greatest inner turmoil he’d ever experienced, knowing he’d been lied to by men he had once trusted. He also thought of McCloud, another old friend who had fooled him greatly. Was it possible that he was becoming too trusting of men in general? His mother was such a cynical, mistrustful woman, but she was also a good deal older than he was. Perhaps she’d learned what it meant to be wary of men in general. And Val, who seemed to have faith in honorable men, now found himself in a terrible position that could cost him everything.
Something in him, at that moment, changed forever.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
