Eric looked at her but eventually lost the battle against the smile that threatened. “Good Christ,” he muttered. “They are a dramatic bunch.”
“Dramatic and annoying,” Isabel said. “The older ones aren’t too bad, but Primmy and Marceline keep fainting, each one trying to be more dramatic than the other. They have declared their undying hatred for Douglas now.”
Eric shook his head. “Theyhate him?” he said. “God’s Bones, they have been awful to the man. Following him around like a puppy, fighting to see who sits next to him at sup, and then hiding in the privy while he takes a piss. If anyone should hate, it should be Douglas—on them.”
Isabel was listening to him, amused. “Do you care?” she said. “The man has usurped you in your own castle. Why do you care how he is treated?”
Eric chuckled. “He did not usurp me,” he said. “I’ve told you that. We have overcome our misunderstandings from thebeginning of his post here. Truthfully, I rather like him. He and his knight—the one they call Wolfie—have been very helpful with the troops who are going through combat training now. I wish I had de Lohr and Wolfie all the time to help like that.”
Isabel leaned against him, her head on his shoulder. “I am glad he has been of assistance,” she said. “But I simply do not think we need him or his troops here any longer.”
He kissed her on the forehead. “That is not your decision to make, my dearest.”
She sighed again, sharply this time. “Why not?” she said. “This is my castle. I should be the one making all of the decisions, including military decisions.”
He gave her a gentle squeeze. “I do not disagree with you,” he said. “We were doing quite well until Tatworth came along and tried to steal you away from me. You never did tell de Lohr that you and Tatworth had been virtually betrothed until I foiled his plans, did you?”
Isabel shook her head. “Nay,” she said. “He did not need to know that, though I believe Rickard told him. I am not sure if Douglas believed him, but it does not matter. I got the better man.”
“A better man you will not marry.”
Her expression tightened and she pushed herself off the bench, away from him. “Must you always bring that up?”
He watched her walk over to a table that held wine and fruit. “I do,” he said. “You told me you would marry me when the time was right, but so far, that time has not come. I fear it never will.”
She looked at him, pain in her expression. “Please do not say such things.”
“Why not?” he said. “It is true. You have let your father and brother get into your head and into your heart. They told you that you must marry a man above your station, no matter whatyou feel for him, so that is what you wait for. A better man than me.”
She closed her eyes and looked away. “That is not true,” she said weakly. “It is simply that the death of my brother has put such a large burden on me. Everything is mine, Eric. The stress and strain, the finances, the relationship with the king… everything. I want to marry you when my heart and mind are lighter than they are now. If I marry you now, I feel as if I cannot focus on our marriage.”
He looked at her, a gentle smile playing on his lips. “Those are excuses, and weak ones at that,” he said softly. “I love you, Isabel de Kerrington. I have loved you since the moment I first gazed upon you. I want to marry you and I want you to bear my son before you grow too old to do such a thing. You have already seen forty years. You will not be fertile much longer, my dearest.”
“Is that all you care about?” she said. “A son? If that is your greatest concern, then you must find someone else to marry, because I will not be a broodmare.”
“That is not what I meant and you know it.”
“Do I?” she shot back softly. Then she shook her head and waved him off. “I do not wish to discuss it now. I must decide what to do about Mira and Douglas. I feel as if I should have a word with him about the situation, Eric. Do you not agree?”
She was changing the subject, as she always did when it came to marriage. Disappointed yet again, Eric simply went along with it.
“Would you rather I speak to him?” he asked, sounding dejected. “It might be better coming from me.”
Isabel could hear the defeat in his voice and it cut her, but she refused to give in to it. She knew what he was thinking. She understood his disappointment. But the truth was that he was right—he was a lesser knight from a lesser family. Shewas the heiress to Axminster. When she married him, it would become his. Was he strong enough for it? Certainly, Eric was a kind and generous man. She loved him dearly. But she was frankly concerned about his being the Earl of Axminster and all it entailed. He wasn’t born into it like she was. He would be assuming it, stepping into her father’s and brother’s shoes. The very sad fact was that she wasn’t sure he could administer the job. It might crush him.
And she didn’t want to crush him.
But she also didn’t want to lose him.
“Nay,” she said after a moment. “It is my responsibility. Will you find him and send him to the solar? I will speak to him there.”
Eric nodded but didn’t move. When she turned to look at him curiously, he simply extended an arm to her. It was an invitation for her to return to her seat beside him, to return to his embrace. Even when he was hurt, or disappointed, he never fought with her. He was subservient to her because he knew, deep down, why she was reserved. He didn’t want to be the Earl of Axminster, but if he married her, he would be. He wanted to marry the woman, not the title.
But shewasthe title.
And Isabel knew it. She knew everything. Without another word, she went to him, allowing him to pull her into an embrace, allowing his lips to claim hers. They had utter, complete privacy in the northwest chamber and had taken advantage of it numerous times in the past. This was why they met here, a place of deep and abiding memories, because it had been in this very chamber seven years ago that Eric had claimed Isabel’s virginity. She’d given it to the man she loved, a simple knight with a heart of gold. She, too, had loved him the moment she first saw him, and she always would. But she didn’t want to talk anymore.
She simply wanted to taste him.
