The bed shifted and he lay beside her. Breckin kept up the pleasurable torment with his hands and mouth on her neck and shoulder and sent her reeling with desire. Eva’s body stiffened when he moved atop her and she felt his need at the core of her womanhood. She gasped and tried to push him away but he was too solid to move.
“Easy, lass. Relax and accept me,” he said gruffly.
As he entered her, Eva scrunched her eyes closed and kept herself from crying out. She huffed at his invasion and wanted to enjoy it but couldn’t. The unfamiliar sensations heightened her fear and prevented her from giving herself to the sensuality.
“Please, cease… I do not like this.”
Breckin moaned and leaned his head against hers. His breath rasped against her cheek. “I would stop, but cannot, lass. We should get it done.” With a thrust of his body, he fully entered her. It was as if she was being invaded, somehow. He tried to kiss her but she turned her head.
She didn’t want to be humiliated but felt on the verge of tears. Eva refused to be a coward and she grabbed hold of his arms, hoping to endure the act without crying. “Hasten then and be done with it.”
As he moved within her, Eva’s body gave over to the pleasurable torment. A twinge began in the center of her being and spread outwardly as if it would completely overtake her. She kept hold of his muscular arms as he thrust against her. The way his body moved against hers spurred her to meet him. The sounds from his throat gave her the realization that he was tormented too. After a long moment and a final, deep plunge, he finally ceased moving. Breckin trembled and gasped, and then fell against her.
She lay back and was completely amazed at what happened between them. Eva had to wonder if that was how it would be—what couples experienced together. If so, she wasn’t sure she wanted to perform her wifely duty. Yet there had been moments of possible pleasure and she’d hoped he would prove her wrong.
“Are ye all right, lass? Did I hurt ye?” He shifted to her side, pressed a hand on her face, and lifted her chin so she would look at him.
Eva shook her head and grabbed the bed cover to shield herself from his view. “I am well enough, and no, you did not hurt me. I am stronger than I look.”
Breckin chuckled and raised a brow. “Good, because ye need to be strong to survive in the Highlands.” He left the bed and lit a candle on the bedside table. Then he stoked the fire with the poker and added a log to the hearth. When he returned to her, he sat on the side of the bed and eyed her. “It always hurts the first time, Eva, but the next time it will not be so—”
“Nexttime? We have to do that again? I do not want there to be a next time,” she said, cutting him off.
“There will be a next time…plenty more times. ’Tis what husbands and wives do. And we must join so that we shall have bairns.” He snatched up her hand and clasped it. “But worry not because when we get to my land, ye will not see me often. I am rarely at home. Ye will have freedom.”
Eva tugged her hand back from his grasp and felt the pull of her brows at his words. “Freedom? So you plan to abandon me?”
“As the laird, I am often called away. Ye should understand that. Was your da not called away to handle his lordly matters? Surely ye understand.”
She pressed her lips together as she thought about his explanation. “I suppose that is true. Well, I appreciate you enlightening me. That might be a good thing since I do not think I even like you, Laird Buchanan.”
He raised his brows, then lowered them over the bridge of his nose. She didn’t like him? Well, she had a little gumption and he was surprised by her confession. Why that bothered him, he couldn’t reason, but he didn’t much like her either. “Ye can dislike me all ye want, lass, but that does not change the fact that ye are my wife.” Breckin stood and rounded the bed. He grabbed his tunic from the floor and pulled it over his head. “Best get rest because we leave at first light.”
Eva turned to her side and faced away from him. Tears threatened to fall but she resisted and sniffled her heartache away. He hadn’t hurther, but truth be told, her heart ached with his uncaring words. She had hoped their joining would bring them closer or at least offer her an opportunity to find something about him that she found appealing or redeeming. She wanted to appreciate him even in an affectionate way. Everything about him overwhelmed her: his strong body, confidence, and handsomeness. If she was honest with herself, she might even admit that she liked being with him, and longed for his touches and kisses.
She drew a deep breath and decided that she would suffer through the ordeal when she needed to. Since she’d rarely be in his company, Eva suspected that it wouldn’t be too difficult to feign acceptance. And perhaps one day, she might even hold the tiniest bit of fondness for him—when she was long in the tooth and grayer than a wild hare.
On the morrow, they would take her father home which would give her time to come up with an excuse to stay at her father’s manor. Breckin certainly didn’t want a wife and somehow, she had to convince him that he’d be better off without her.
Chapter Seven
Breckin was gladdenedto finally leave Edinburgh. The journey to Eva’s home took three long days of riding toward the border, which would usually take him a day or even two at the most. Eva had demanded that the horsemen ride slowly because of her father’s ailment. He wanted to turn his horse and head in the opposite direction but alas, he’d agreed to escort her father home. Yet the closer he got to the border, the more he regretted his promise.
Eva barely spoke two words to him during the trek. Of course, she had opted to ride with her da in their carriage. He rode his horse ahead of Lord Scott’s men-at-arms. To keep himself from thinking about their disastrous first night together, Breckin focused on the lane, sounds, and for possible foes.
Even though he tried not to consider the ramifications of their first coupling, his mind relived the night over repeatedly. He flinched and was thoroughly disappointed in himself. Breckin had never left a woman dissatisfied before but his body had a mind of its own. He disbelieved he’d lost control and gave way to his need before he brought his bonny wife to pleasure. Not that he professed to be a great lover, but he was adept at bringing a woman to completeness.
What was wrong with him? Had he gone addled? It sure seemed so.
Since their departure from Edinburgh,there had been no time to discuss with Eva what had happened between them. He wanted to apologize, not that he was versed in making such amends. Breckin seldom apologized to anyone, but he owed her that. She’d sworn that he hadn’t hurt her, but he knew that he had acted without care of her tender feelings. She was a lass, young, and unknowing in the ways of sex and men. He should have taken more time to woo her. Breckin regretted it now and vowed to make amends for his boorish behavior at the soonest.
The lane rounded a grouping of trees ahead and the area was sparse in its woodland. He concentrated on his surroundings and listened to the tromping of the horses’ hooves. Being near the border kept him on alert but the Scott men-at-arms appeared lax in their courtesy. One of the lord’s men-at-arms whistled lightly and he stopped to find out what was happening. Breckin spotted no one ahead and heard no sounds from the meagerly wooded area around them.
“Laird Buchanan,” a man unknown to him, almost completely covered with chainmail and a helmet, said, “Let us go ahead. Our watchmen shall see us and have the gate opened before our approach. They might be guarded if they spot you.”
He wasn’t the least bit insulted by the man’s request. Those by the border were usually standoffish when a Highlander was in their midst—a Buchanan even more so. Their reputation for brutal force preceded them and that suited him well. He’d rather have men-at-arms fear him than welcome him with open arms.
Breckin signaled to his horse to move to the side to await Eva’s carriage to pass. As he rode next to it, he tried to see her face. She looked pleased and wore a smile on her bonny face. Breckin wished she’d smile at him that way. The carriage rolled forward, past the extravagant golden gates, and continued until it reached a row of steps that led to the lord’s home.
