With the help of some of the soldiers who had been bottled up in the keep, she bathed her brother in watered wine, seeing the gaping wound that had taken his life. It had been a sorrowful duty and she’d tried to maintain her bravery throughout because of the soldiers around her. She didn’t want them to see her falter. Somehow, she had to maintain the illusion that she was strong and in control, with everything.
But it was a hard-fought battle.
But even as her thoughts were on her brother, they were peppered by thoughts of Caius. When she had first met him, he had seemed professional and genuinely interested in the situation and her perspective of it. Now, however, he was exhibiting distinct signs of someone who had more than a passing interest in the situation. Almost as if he were becoming emotionally involved in it.
In truth, she didn’t want him to become emotionally involved in the situation because it was not his fight. She did not want to make it seem as if she were playing on his pity, as if she were trying to entice him to side with her. That was something shewould never do, not to him, not to anyone. This was her battle, her family’s battle, and it always had been.
She didn’t want to appear as if she were taking advantage of the situation.
But his kiss to her hand had done something to her. The only man who had ever kissed her had been her father, as a father kisses a daughter, and she’d never experienced anything remotely passionate or romantic. Therefore, Caius’ kiss to her hand had been her very first experience with something that could be considered romantic.
She wasn’t hard pressed to admit she had liked it.
Over the years, she’d had a few suitors who had professed their interest in her. None of them had been serious, however, and her father had seen that right away. Perhaps they had been taken with her beauty, or perhaps they had been taken with the idea of marrying an heiress to Hawkstone. Whatever the case, she had never been interested in any of them. In fact, she had always been somewhat shy of men.
Until now.
Other than a sympathetic character, she had no idea what Caius would have seen in her. He had met her at her lowest point, dressed in another woman’s clothing and emotionally wrecked. As she had told him, she had not been herself. So, why should he even be attracted to her?
Truly, she was baffled by it all.
But there was no question as to why she should be attracted to him. From the moment they had met, he had been kind, understanding and considerate. He had been interested in her plight and he had shown great regard for her. Coupled with the fact that the man was incredibly handsome, it was apparent why she should be attracted to him. He had given her every good reason to be.
But she could not give in to those feelings.
Emelisse was terrified that her attraction to Caius would somehow interfere with her determination to stay in Hawkstone’s keep to the last man. He had already tried to sway her, but she had remained strong. She didn’t know how much longer she could remain strong if he continued his bombardment of pleas and gentle pity. It wasn’t an act. She could see that he meant it. But she was afraid that, eventually, she would give in to his wishes.
That was something she did not want to do.
And that meant no more contact with a man.
She knew what she had to do, as heartbreaking as it was.
Emelisse sent a few soldiers down to the keep entry where they retracted the ladder and resealed the door. If she was going to keep firm to her decision to remain boarded up with the remaining Hawkstone soldiers as her brother had been, then she would have to keep Caius from entering and trying to talk her out of it.
When he had kissed her hand, Emelisse realized that she would do almost anything for the man. That kiss had made her heart race and her palms sweat, and it was the most wonderful feeling she had ever known. Under any other circumstances, she would have given anything to experience those feelings from him, again and again.
But these were not ordinary circumstances.
Therefore, she had to keep Caius away from her.
The man had the ability to melt her.
His return to the keep wasn’t long in coming. No sooner had they raised the ladder and closed the door than he appeared, calling up to those in the keep and asking them to open the door again. Emelisse listened to his pleas go from polite to those of great concern very quickly when he realized she meant to deny him, and anyone else, entrance to the keep. Knowing she couldnot ignore him, she finally went down to the keep entry and had the soldiers open the door.
But they did not lower the ladder.
The Hawkstone soldiers moved away from the entry as she knelt down at the entrance, gazing down at Caius, who was looking up at her with genuine confusion.
“Forgive me, Caius, but you cannot enter,” she said with regret. “It is better if you do not.”
That didn’t clear up any of his confusion. “Why not?” he asked. “What have I done?”
She shook her head. “Nothing,” she said. “I simply… it is simply better this way.”
“Better for whom?”
“Me.”
